CHAPTER 19
BELLA
I gasped,
sitting straight up in bed. I was confused for just a moment as to
where I was, but it all came back to me slowly – Edward's house,
Charlie dead, Mom murdered. I took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes
closed, and looked around. I was alone in his room, and it was dark.
We'd arrived at his house in the early morning, so I must have slept
the day away after reading Charlie's letter.
I looked
down at myself, feeling gross, achy, and strung out. I was only
wearing my underwear, I noticed as the covers fell away from me. I
got up and padded my way into the bathroom, turning on the water for
a quick shower. I needed to wash the sleep, vomit, and tears away.
When my
shower was over and my teeth were brushed, I wrapped a towel around
myself, walking back into the bedroom. The house was so quiet that it
was almost creepy, and suddenly, I needed to see Edward. My whole
body truly just ached to be in the same room as him. Finding
his discarded black button down shirt from the day before, I pulled
it on in a rush, just to at least have his smell near me. I was
halfway down the hall when I realized that I'd put nothing else on,
and that caused me to almost trip.
I was in
such a hurry to find him that I didn't remember the safety of my
underwear or the security that they usually brought with them; I only
needed Edward. And with that thought, despite the sadness of my
father's death that I was still feeling, I suddenly felt lighter,
freer. I didn't need to hide from Edward anymore because he was all
things safe and secure, warm and comforting.
I froze for
just a moment, enjoying the freedom, the revelation that the only
thing that mattered was the man that had done nothing but take care
of me since he'd found me in Miller's basement. He'd fought me,
pushed me, loved me, and wiped away tear after tear. My love for him
was bigger than anything Miller could have ever done to me, and I
knew that more standing there in Edward's hallway than I ever had
before. I'd lost my father and now my mother all over again; I
couldn't lose him – and that fear was bigger than any punch, burn,
or scar.
I found him
in the kitchen, laptop open and papers strewn up and down the
counter. He was wearing only the jeans he'd had on the night before
as he ran a hand through his hair roughly. He seemed to be
studying...well, everything. Not only were the contents of my
father's box on the counter, but some other papers, as well,
including a picture of myself that I didn't recognize.
It was the
man himself my eyes were drawn to, though, because just seeing him
made the nerves in my stomach completely calm. He was pacing in front
of the papers on the bar, his face grim and dark as he ran another
hand through his hair. He braced his arms on the counter, completely
oblivious to my presence, every muscle in his upper body stretching
taut with the stance he took as he continued to look over what seemed
to be the police report from my mother's...murder.
The idea
that she hadn't killed herself was new and a little acute, and I
inhaled sharply as that thought rattled through my brain. I felt like
I finally understood myself because my nightmares had never made any
sense whatsoever. They were always confusing and strange, like I
could never quite reach exactly what I was aiming for.
Edward's
gaze shot up sharply from the counter at the sound I made, his warm,
evergreen eyes raking over me before he moved.
"Hey,"
he sighed, walking from behind the counter. "I'm sorry you woke
up alone, but I w-was restless, a-and I th-thought I'd w-wake you,"
he stuttered sweetly as he pulled out a bar stool. "Come here,
and let me look at you," he said, changing from nervous to
commanding and concerned. He swept me up, setting me gently on the
stool so that he could look me in the face. "How do you feel,
baby?" he asked, tucking my damp hair back behind my ears.
"Better
now," I sighed, reaching up to touch his face when he sat in
front of me.
In fact, I
couldn't stop touching him, just to make sure he was there. My hands
slid over his shoulders, down his arms, and then right back to his
face again.
"I
didn't want to leave you alone, baby," he sighed, pulling me
closer so that his thighs were on either side of mine. "I just
wanted you to get some rest, and I was too...wired to stay in there,"
he explained, lifting my face with the tips of his fingers under my
chin to make sure I heard him.
"S'okay,"
I mumbled, feeling a strange sense of need just about swallow me
whole. "What are you doing?" I asked, trying to fight it
because I felt unstable at the moment.
"Besides
ogling you in my shirt?" he teased with a sexily-raised eyebrow.
I snickered,
shrugging, and looked back at him. "It smelled like you...you
weren't there...I took it," I stated as fact and not apologizing
one bit.
He grinned
and kissed my forehead. "Fine, take whatever you want, love,"
he replied with a chuckle as he turned to the counter. "I was
sending all this shit to my dad and Benny," he said, turning
back to me with the police report in his hand. "My dad had no
fucking clue about any of this shit..."
"Is he
pissed at us?" I asked, wincing at the mere idea of an angry
Carlisle because that shit wasn't pretty.
"No,
baby," Edward crooned, shaking his head and reaching for my hand
to link our fingers together. "He said that as soon as he
relayed Charlie's last message to you, he'd figured it was something
important. He would have been really fucking pissed had you run off
to do it by yourself, though," he growled, giving me a pointed
look.
"I
know," I whined, looking away from him. "I'm sorry. I
wasn't thinking straight..."
"He's
coming down from Seattle to see you tomorrow, so we're staying a
little longer. I've already let them know, Bella." He sighed,
setting the police report down. "None of this shit matters,
love. Are you all right?"
I nodded and
then shrugged. "I feel strangely...okay," I told him
but searched his face for answers – any
answers. "I've had nightmares for years that just didn't
make sense," I confessed softly. "But they weren't
nightmares, apparently." I snorted humorlessly, pointing to the
counter. "They were memories. That kind of makes me feel better
about my own mind. I still don't know how I'd forgotten it all..."
Edward
studied my face for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I've
been told that it's a defense mechanism," he started, picking up
our hands with our fingers still linked and kissing the back of mine.
"I've seen guys survive prison camps that way. I've seen them
forget it all and still be able to function normally. My dad says
that sometimes, a mind can only take so much before it turns in on
itself to protect you, and he's seen worse shit than I have."
I nodded in
agreement, swallowing thickly. "I'm...I'm glad to know that she
didn't leave me," I whispered, tilting my head to look at one of
the pictures from my dad.
"Don't
look, love," Edward sighed, turning the stack over. "Don't
remember her that way." He pulled his hand from mine and cupped
both sides of my face, pressing his forehead to mine. "No one
could figure out why she would leave you, and now we know she didn't,
baby. She was stolen from you, Bella, and we all intend to make it
right, okay?"
My gaze was
locked with his, and I could see he meant every word in his
almost-black eyes, and he meant them with severe and unadulterated
malice. He wasn't just sincere; he was vowing to me
that anyone that had hurt me would die. If I didn't know him, didn't
love him the way that I did, it would've scared me. This was the part
of him that he considered the monster, but he was far from it. He was
just protective, and angry, and so very loyal. My Edward was pissed
that I was hurting, and he was reacting the only way that he knew
how; he wanted, needed to just fucking fix it – and
it was frustrating him all to hell that he couldn't.
"How
long have you been up going over this stuff?" I asked him,
standing up on the rung of his stool between his legs so that I could
wrap my arms around his neck because my need was growing
exponentially.
"A few
hours," he sighed, relaxing in my arms instantly as his hands
rested on my waist. His eyes never left mine. "I...I d-didn't
know wh-what else to do f-for y-you, love," he admitted softly.
"I
know," I said with a nod, kissing his forehead, "and it's
okay, Edward. I don't know what I'm doing about it, either. I can't
think about it right now..."
Edward
nodded, accepting my reply and leaning in to kiss my collarbone,
which became exposed as his too-large shirt slipped down just a bit
over my shoulder.
"Do you
want something to eat, Bella? You didn't exactly keep down anything
this morning," he mumbled softly against my skin as his lips
traveled up to my neck. "God, you always taste so fucking
good..."
"Not
hungry," I whispered, squeezing my eyes closed when his mouth
opened warm and wet at the soft, sensitive part just below my ear. I
felt myself slip deeper into that hole of need that I'd practically
woken up in.
I threaded
my fingers into his hair, tugging him gently away from my neck so I
could look at his handsome face and his darkening green eyes. He
licked his lips as he huffed a deep breath, his brow furrowing.
"I'm
sorry," he sighed, looking so guilty over something he didn't
need to be. "Sometimes, you're really hard to resist." His
mouth turned up into the crooked smile that I loved.
"Don't
apologize," I said, leaning in to barely brush my lips against
his, "and don't stop. I...I need..."
"Tell
me," he murmured just before he lightly nipped at my bottom lip,
dragging his tongue across it. "Tell me what you need..."
"Just...you."
All I wanted
was Edward, with everything in me. I needed to finally give myself
over to him completely, I needed to wrap myself in the safety and
warmth of his strong arms, and I needed to finally throw away fears
that were insignificant in comparison to the desire, love, and need I
had for the man in my arms.
My hands
cupped both sides of his face, and I leaned down to kiss him, trying
to convey everything I felt, everything I wanted in just that kiss.
When our tongues swirled together, Edward's hands gripped and
caressed everything he knew was "safe" on the outside of
the material. He still hadn't discovered what was underneath his
shirt that was slowly slipping down my shoulders; that is, until he
palmed my thighs, ghosting up to my ass.
Then, he
froze.
"Bella,"
he panted, his head falling to my shoulder as he pulled me to his lap
and I wrapped my legs around him. "Baby...you have to say the
words, not just... Oh fuck, you feel like heaven," he growled,
his hands groping my bare ass with an erotic rhythm. "Not just
show up like this. I need you to be ready...I need you to say it."
"I want
you," I stated, my own forehead falling to his shoulder. "I
love you...so much," I whispered, skimming small kisses up his
neck to his ear.
"I
really want you, too, baby," he admitted, kissing roughly up my
neck only to pull back to look me in the eyes. "I need you to be
sure. I'd die if we jumped the gun and fucked up, or...or if you
wanted this for some other reason... God, I love you so fucking much,
and I'd hate it if we—"
"No,"
I said, wriggling closer to him. "I...I'm ready, Edward. My only
thought when I woke up was to get to you. So much so that I
completely forgot medicine, and underwear, and...fears. So I'm asking
you...please, don't stop."
"Fuck,"
he growled, his eyes darkening as he dove for my mouth, plundering it
with his tongue.
Suddenly, I
realized just how much Edward had been holding back from me. He was
strength, power, and all things carnal that I'd never felt from him
before that one moment as his hands couldn't decide exactly where to
be. He was under the shirt and over it, he was gripping the fabric at
my sides to pull me closer, and then he was tugging the damn thing
farther down my shoulder, just to expose more skin.
"I want
to do this right," he breathed against the skin of my shoulder
just before dragging his teeth sensually over my skin. His eyes
locked with mine through his long, dark lashes as his lips never left
my shoulder. "I want to...mmm, savor you, every fucking inch
of you. I want to...take my time, Bella," he said, swirling his
tongue slowly over my shoulder and ending in one more open-mouthed
kiss.
There was
nothing to say to that because he suddenly stood up with my arms and
legs still wrapped around him. I couldn't help but kiss his jaw,
dragging my teeth over its strong edge, weaving my fingers back into
his hair.
"And I
want you in my bed," he growled, striding down the hall,
practically kicking the door closed. "You have no fucking idea
how long I've wanted you...right there," he purred as we
fell across the bed in a tangle of arms, legs, lips, and tongues.
"How
long?" I gasped, my head rolling back as he dove for my neck.
"Since
our first kiss, love," he chuckled darkly, grinding his hips
against me.
"Then
I've got you beat," I teased him, dragging my fingers up his
back and reveling in every muscle, every dip.
He laughed
softly in my ear, raising up just enough to sit back on his heels
between my thighs and tug roughly on the buttons of the shirt I was
wearing.
"Tell
me," he growled, tugging again and sending a button pinging
somewhere into his bedroom.
"The
first day I saw you cooking breakfast in just shorts," I
giggled, reaching for his hands to stop him from ruining his shirt.
He grinned,
and it was smug and lighthearted...and a touch embarrassed. "Really,
Ms. Swan?" he asked, grabbing my hands and pinning them to the
bed above my head. "Those stay there..." he commanded with
a smirk and a sexy-ass raised eyebrow, going right back to the shirt
to send one more button sailing away. "You were thinking about
me that soon?"
"Hell,
yes," I snorted, breaking into more giggles when he popped off
another button, and then another. "I thought you'd grown up to
be damn hot, Edward. It's not like you don't know...and who can
resist a half-naked man that can cook?" I asked him, smiling
when he let out a deep, sexy chuckle.
He left the
bottom two buttons intact, and I could feel his demeanor change and
slow down. Edward braced an elbow next to my head, lowering his body
slowly, half on top of mine. Playing with my hair with the hand by my
head, Edward gazed almost languidly down my body and back up to my
face, the fingers of his free hand tracing the exposed skin he'd
revealed.
"I
can't wait to touch you...to see you," he said, his voice
sounding like smooth velvet but also unsure, like he was confessing a
secret.
"No
more waiting," I sighed, pushing at him and pushing at him until
he finally relented, falling onto his back with a smirk and
heavy-lidded eyes, and with gripping hands and flexing abs. "We've
waited long enough, Edward," I huffed, straddling his thighs in
order to grip the front of his jeans.
As I ogled
him underneath me, I couldn't imagine or remember ever wanting
someone more. And for a moment, I wondered if this was what Esme was
talking about – that feeling of being completely whole and wanting
to share myself with only one person. Leaning over him, I braced my
hands by his head and kissed the ink on his chest that represented
who he was, and I gave my fears one last mental check as he caressed
my thighs, my ass, and my lower back with slow-moving, sensual hands.
There were
no more fears.
There was
only me – my real self. There wasn't panic, or the need to cover
up, or even the knowledge that my scars were still visible, because
when my eyes locked with his, I could tell scars were not on Edward's
mind. He loved me, wanted me, and armed with that epiphany, I thought
I would eat him alive.
I licked up
his chest, dragging lips, teeth, and tongue over his skin. By the
time my lips met his eagerly awaiting mouth, there were sounds in the
room that I didn't recognize from either of us. It sounded desperate,
damn erotic, and so fucking needy that it was almost distracting, but
we were finally giving in. With a firm grip on my ass, Edward ground
my center against his erection, and we both moaned into each other's
mouths.
"Fuck,
baby...so wet," he breathed against my lips. "But I want
you wetter than that for me," he growled, sounding almost
threatening and nipping at my bottom lip.
I sat up,
bracing my hands on his glorious stomach as his hands held my hips
firmly, grinding me against him. I backed out of his reach, going
once again for the button of his jeans.
"I want
to see you," I told him, tugging each button on his jeans with a
slow, teasing tug just to watch him squirm.
"Bella,"
he groaned, his head falling back to the bed when his cock sprang
free from the confines of the old, soft denim. "Baby...when
these come off," he said, sitting up before I could yank the
jeans down, "it's over. There's no going back."
I shirked
out of his grasp, pushed him back down onto his back, and yanked down
his jeans, giving Edward a pointed look. "All that talk about
'one day,' Edward...it's over. No more. 'One day' has arrived..."
"Fuck
me," he hissed as his eyes rolled back, lifting his hips as I
finally got rid of the material that I'd been struggling with for the
last few minutes and dropped them off the side of the bed to the
floor.
"Oh,
most definitely, but...later," I purred, crawling up his
now perfectly-naked and artfully-sculpted body, which I was now
thinking was completely mine, trapping his substantial arousal
between our stomachs. "Right now, I want you to make love to me,
Edward..."
He wrapped
an arm around my waist and slid a hand up to the base of my neck,
rolling us again so that he was braced over me. He kissed me hard,
deep, delving his tongue into my mouth as my hips tried to find some
friction against the thigh he'd slid between my legs.
His mouth
broke from mine, only to lick and suck his way to my ear. "Do
you remember what I told you, baby?" he asked, his voice taking
on a husky, sexy tenor that just about made all my girly parts
clench. "Do you? What I told you I'd do to you when the time
came?"
"Sweet
Jesus," I breathed, my hands gliding down his back and back up
to his strong shoulders only to pull him closer because fuck, yes, I
remembered everything that he'd ever said to me, ever promised me.
My shirt was
a fucking twisted mess all around me, but it still covered the lower
half of me when Edward pulled back a bit. One of my breasts was
exposed, and he lowered his mouth to place a long suckle to my
pebbled nipple before pushing the fabric off the other breast only to
give it the same attention. My body arched off the bed, but firm
hands held me still.
"Let me
see if I can remind you," he murmured against my sternum before
his tongue snaked out to swirl over my skin. "I believe I said
I'd kiss you...everywhere."
He slipped
farther down my body, opening the shirt more to swirl another licking
kiss just above my belly button.
"I'm
pretty sure," he crooned, sitting up just a bit and
licking his lips, "that I said I'd taste you, that I wanted to
feel you come on my tongue. Am I right, Bella?" he asked, and I
swear he sounded like the devil making a deal for my soul because at
that point, I'd give it to him if he made good on any of those
promises.
"Edward,"
I groaned, squirming under him, but he held me still.
"Am I
right, baby?" he asked again, a small smile curling the corners
of his now kiss-bruised lips.
"Uh
huh," I panted, nodding frantically.
"Then
I'm asking you one last time, love," he said, his voice changing
from carnal and sensual to caring and tentative. "Are you sure?"
I gazed up
at him, and even though his eyes were heavy-lidded and lust-filled,
even though his fingers were tracing indistinguishable circles over
my exposed breasts, and even though he was dragging his tongue slowly
across his bottom lip like he was waiting to devour me, I knew for a
fucking fact that he'd stop right then if I said the word. I suddenly
– if it were possible – wanted and loved him more than ever.
"I love
you. I'm sure about you," I told him, hoping that said it
all because there wasn't anything more important than getting that
point across right then. He was more important than scars and fears;
he was my everything – just...everything.
Edward's
gaze softened, and he leaned down to press his lips to mine. "Christ,
Bella, I'm so fucking in love with you. So much," he breathed,
pressing his forehead to mine, briefly locking gazes with me. "I
want to show you...want to make you feel it..."
"Me,
too," I whimpered, feeling almost overwhelmed with the emotions
both of us were feeling. If it was this intense before, I couldn't
even think about how intense it would be when we were finally one.
He kissed me
one more time before sitting up between my legs, his fingers gliding
down the edges of his ruined shirt. It was make or break time for me,
but there wasn't an ounce of fear left in me. I nodded at him as his
fingers gripped the bottom of his shirt. With one last swift tug, he
yanked the shirt completely open, sending the last two buttons off
into oblivion.
~oOo~
EDWARD
Jesus
fucking Christ, she was beautiful! Every fucking inch of her. I
didn't see fear in her eyes, and I never fucking saw her scars. I
just saw the woman that held my heart and soul in her hands, looking
up at me with the same desire in her eyes that must have matched my
own.
As hard as I
was, as much as I wanted to bury myself inside of her, I really
wanted to touch her, taste her. No more clothes, no more panic
attacks. Just the two of us.
"Did
you know what you were doing to me when you came out in my
fucking shirt, baby?" I asked her, tugging that sinful thing off
of her and dropping it to the bedroom floor. "I thought I was
fucking dreaming..."
Bella
snorted, biting her bottom lip. "No..."
Finally, she
lay before me in nothing, completely naked. I shook my head, trying
to clear it, trying to slow down, because this was monumental for
her. And she didn't look panicked one bit. That scar cream must have
really been working because the last time she'd been uncovered in
front of me, I could still see the burns on her stomach and a few
lines here and there. Maybe love was fucking blind, like they said,
but all I could see was her glorious body sprawled out underneath me.
"You
have to be..." I breathed, leaning over her just to brush my
lips across hers, "...the most fucking gorgeous thing I've ever
seen. Ever, baby."
Maybe
waiting for her had made this...more – more intense, more
important, more, more, more. I'd fantasized about this moment, about
finally being with her, but I wasn't sure I'd come close in my mind
because my chest almost ached with the need to be inside of her. I'd
never felt that way about any woman in my fucking life, and it was
scary, but it was also comforting because I knew I'd never want
another for as long as I fucking lived.
I couldn't
believe I was touching her with open hands, brushing thumbs, and
long, wet kisses to every inch of her. I slid farther down her body,
cupping her breasts before trailing my fingers lightly down her
stomach, and I finally saw her bare in front of my face. I could
smell her want for me, and it was almost my undoing.
Glancing up
at Bella, I made sure she was still doing fine before I placed kisses
to each scar on her hips and one that was between her bellybutton and
her mound. It was my first time seeing them, and I paid them the
reverence and respect that I'd paid to every other scar of hers.
Trailing my
fingers oh-so-lightly, I traced the edge of where her legs met her
hips, placing a kiss to each thigh and inhaling deeply. I closed my
eyes, following the same path with my nose and lips, but her legs
were rubbing together.
"Open
up for me, baby," I purred, swirling my tongue where her skin
creased. "I want to see this beautiful pussy, love."
I placed my
hands on the inside of her thighs, moaning when they fell open for
me. My thumbs caressed the creases between her legs as my tongue
finally met her wet heat for the first time without any barrier
between us.
"Edward,"
she cried, her hips bucking up toward my face.
One of her
legs fell to the side while the other one went over my shoulder,
digging her heel into my back to bring me closer. My girl wanted
more.
The flavor
of her, the taste was like nothing else on the planet. The
heat and slick skin was addictive as I buried my tongue as deep
inside of her as I could. My thumbs continued to move, one at the
tight muscle just outside of her lips and the other now finding a
rhythm on her clit that had her hips meeting against my face.
Her hands
gripped sheets, and her head fell back to my pillow, all of her hair
around her like a halo of chocolate. But it was her panting, her
cries of my name that had me hard as steel, because she was fucking
stunning when she was about to come, even more so when it hit her
hard, like I wanted it to then.
I dragged my
tongue between her folds, from one opening to the other, twirling it
hard around her clit at the same time that I sank two fingers deep
within her.
"Holy
fuck, Edward," she cried out through gritted teeth, her walls
clenching once hard around my fingers.
"Don't
you fight it, love. You look at me when you come for me," I
commanded, almost smiling when she cursed a string of profanities,
her heel digging just shy of painful into my back.
Her eyes
locked with mine just as I deliberately snaked my tongue out flat
against her clit, curling my fingers just right to find the spot
inside her that would send her flying over the edge. I sucked her
hard into my mouth, my eyes rolling back as soon as she completely
shattered.
Her walls
clenched down over my fingers, and I couldn't help but lick her,
taste her, feel her as she trembled hard against my mouth. It was so
fucking amazing, and she was so fucking beautiful that my forehead
fell to her thigh in order to keep me from coming at the sight and
sound of her. Turning my head, I opened my mouth to the inside of her
thigh, sucking hard to mark her, to claim her, to give her a reminder
of who had made her feel that good.
"Edward,
please..." Her breathless plea echoed in the room, and my head
snapped up to look at her, to make sure she was still okay. She
pulled at my shoulders, tugging me up her body. "Please,
baby...now...I want you inside now..."
My brow
furrowed at the few tears that leaked down her face, and I couldn't
help but kiss them away. "You okay?" I asked, unable to
help myself.
"Not
bad tears," she explained softly, cupping my face as I settled
between her legs, almost groaning at how perfect she felt beneath me.
"Please, Edward," she whispered, rubbing her thumbs across
my cheekbones.
I went to
reach for my nightstand for a condom – not that I kept them there
for this bed because no woman had ever been in this bed. The only
woman that mattered stopped me, though, shaking her head.
"You
don't need it," she told me, still shaking her head but linking
our fingers together. "I'm on the shot. I want to...feel
you, baby..."
Nothing
could have stopped the moan at that point as I kissed her in a frenzy
because fuck, if she wasn't killing me. I was clean; I was checked
regularly, due to my traveling out of country, and I'd been
completely celibate for over a month before even seeing Bella, but
I'd never been with anyone without a condom, and just the mere
thought of it was just one more thing that I'd dreamed about.
Squeezing
her hand that was still in mine, we kissed almost roughly with turned
heads, warm, wet mouths, and gasping moans escaping both of us. My
hips instinctively pushed forward, and my eyes rolled back into my
head when I slipped through her wet heat.
I broke away
from her mouth, pressing my forehead to hers. "I love you,"
I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut as Bella rolled her hips over
mine, her breathing as ragged as mine as I lined up with her just
right. It took all I had not to just push into her as deep as I could
go.
However, the
very second I began to enter her, the feelings were almost too much.
I'd never felt as connected to someone as I did right then. And the
feel of her without the thin latex barrier between us was
in-fucking-credible. Who knew such a thin piece of rubber could take
away that much sensation? She was warm, tight, and so wet that my
head fell to her shoulder once I was completely inside her.
It was a
feeling of...finally. It was a feeling of the other half of me
now connected with its mate. It was the feeling of home and comfort
and the knowledge that every sexual experience I'd had before paled
in comparison to that moment. It was as close to heaven as I could
possibly fucking imagine. And I knew that none of it was completely
physical, that it was emotional, as well, because my girl knew me,
loved me in spite of all of my asinine behaviors, and would kill for
me. I had to bury my face in her neck to hide the tears that
threatened to fall.
"Christ,"
I breathed, still unable to move inside her yet.
"Edward,"
I heard her whimper in my ear as her arm wrapped all the way around
my head, her other hand still squeezing my fingers.
"I
know, baby," I panted, turning my head to place a long, slow
kiss to her neck as I pulled slowly back. "I've never..."
"Oh,
God..." rushed from her mouth as soon as I pushed back in, and I
kissed up her jaw so that I could see her face.
I did it
again and again at an agonizingly slow pace because her face was just
stunning. Her neck arched back into my pillow; her cheeks flushed.
Her mouth hung open as she tried to catch her breath, but it was
those dark, chocolate eyes locked onto mine that caused me to pick up
the pace because even though love was written all over her face, she
looked...ravenous for me. And fuck, if that wasn't hot as
hell.
Bella pulled
her hand from mine, weaving her fingers in my hair and scraping them
down my back, and her hips rose up to meet mine thrust for thrust. I
gripped the sheets by her head in order to not pound her senseless.
Bracing myself on my elbow so that I could touch her, I ghosted my
hand down her side and hitched her leg up higher around my waist so I
could go that much deeper inside of her. I felt her walls started to
clench around me.
"That's
it, love. Come for me...again," I purred in her ear. "But
I'm so not fucking done with you yet..."
"Fuck,
Edward," she practically growled. "You feel so good...right
there."
I couldn't
help the smirk that crossed my face as she gripped my ass, guiding me
where she wanted me, pushing me against herself just right so that I
rubbed against her clit the way she wanted, the way she needed in
order to get off. Gone was my fear-filled girl, and I didn't miss her
one bit because as soon as she came with my name slipping from her
lips, I found myself on my back.
"Mmm,
baby," I growled through gritted teeth as she rode me hard.
"You're so fucking beautiful riding my cock, love..."
I watched as
a carnal smile graced my girl's features as she leaned back to grab
my thighs in order take me in deeper. Her body was a graceful wave of
motion, fluid and phenomenal in how she felt with every swivel of her
hips, with every grip of her thighs at my sides.
"So
good, Edward..."
Sweat
glistened on her body, her hair sticking to her face as she continued
her movements over me, and I was so fucking close, just
watching her. I gripped her hips, guiding her as she started to
falter and then thrusting hard up into her because my girl was close
again, too.
"Give
me another one, Bella," I commanded, pulling her down over me.
Her damp
forehead pressed to mine as our bodies, slick and hot, slipped
smoothly and erotically together.
"Together,
baby," she panted, her little hands planting hard on either side
of my head. "I can't... I want... Come with me," she
finally ground out.
I rolled her
back over because I knew she was so close that she couldn't even
concentrate.
I captured a
bead of sweat on my tongue that was dripping slowly down her neck,
licking slowly up to her mouth. "Oh, Bella...your taste... I'll
never get enough now, baby. Never," I growled, nipping at her
bottom lip and claiming her mouth as her legs wrapped higher around
me and her hands gripped my shoulders.
I slipped my
hand between us, my forehead against hers, as I slowly but firmly
pressed the spot that would bring her one more climax because fuck, I
wasn't going to last much longer. The slow burn started in my
stomach, blazing down to my dick, and my teeth bit softly down on
Bella's bottom lip as her orgasm clenched around me hard.
"Shit,"
she breathed, her whole body arching up one more time before I
finally gave in.
Her last
climax was too much to fight, though I never wanted the feeling of
been joined with her to end. Curses flew from my mouth as I finally
came with an explosion, burying my face in her neck. My weight fell
on her because I couldn't move, nor did I want to leave her touch or
the feeling of being inside of her.
I was a
ruined man. There was nothing that could keep me away from Bella now.
Nothing.
~oOo~
BELLA
I awoke to a
still, quiet, and dark room. I didn't move, though, because my heavy
blanket was breathing softly in my ear. I was lying on my stomach,
and Edward was draped around me, our legs tangled together under the
covers.
According to
the clock, it was barely five in the morning. My body was deliciously
achy – the kind of achy that reminded me exactly of what had taken
place the night before. I had to fight an audible moan at just the
memory of it because we'd finally made love. It had been everything
I'd imagined and oh so much more.
I'd never
felt as overwhelmed or as full as I had last night when Edward was
worshiping me – and he had worshiped me...thoroughly. I
thought my mind would actually snap with the feel of his mouth on me
and with the emotions that came from finally becoming one with him.
In all the activities prior, I'd wondered what the actual act would
do to me once I was finally able to let go of my fears, and I'd
gotten my answer – pure carnal, emotional, erotic pleasure capped
off with a cemented feeling of more than just love. In fact, I wasn't
sure there was a word for it.
Edward
shifted behind me, his hand sliding down from my shoulder, along my
side, eventually palming my ass, and I smiled into the pillow because
I wasn't sure if he was dreaming or slowly waking up. I was glad he
couldn't see my face at the moment because I was afraid of one
outcome from last night.
I was
insatiable for him now.
I wanted him
again, even though I'd just woken up. I didn't care that the sun
wasn't even out. In fact, just his unconscious touch had me wet and
fighting the urge to turn over in his arms. I wanted to wrap myself
around him again, see his face when he came hard, watch his body when
every muscle seemed to be stretched tight, rolling underneath his
smooth skin, and I wanted to see his eyes go from the beautiful
sweet, calm green, to the almost pitch black of want that they had
the night before. I wanted him to enter me with that gratifying
slowness that he'd done, but I also wanted to see exactly what would
happen had he not been so gentle, not been so controlled, because I
could tell he was holding back. Hell, he'd always held back with me,
and I was happy to say he didn't have to anymore.
My fears
were gone, leaving me with a strange sense of peace because I could
now focus on the situations that lay outside the bedroom we were in –
something I'd not truly been able to do since Edward had found me in
Miller's basement. I knew that something had to be done about King,
about Miller, and now the responsibility rested with my memories,
with Edward's crew and connections. I knew that Carlisle would be
coming to Edward's house later, and I couldn't wait to see him
because knowing Carlisle, he was probably taking his oldest friend's
death pretty damn hard and had almost died himself trying to stop it.
I took a
deep breath, fighting the heartache that rose to the surface because
a huge list of things to do just flew through my mind at lightning
speed – funeral arrangements, meetings at TT, and not to mention
the sorting through of my mother's case. Edward had been going over
her file when I'd interrupted him, and I was curious as to what his
opinion was, what he thought the next step should be. However, I had
a feeling that was why Carlisle was coming in from Seattle today.
Edward's
hand moved again, this time slipping around to my stomach and up to
my breast, cupping it fully. I smiled again, now beginning to think
he was really awake and always woke up with sexual intentions.
"So
tense all of a sudden," he rumbled in my ear with a deep, sleepy
voice, but it was the warm, wet, teeth-dragging kiss to my shoulder
that had my eyes rolling into the back of my head. He was not helping
my insatiable situation. At all. "It's too damn early to be this
tense, love..."
I bit down
on my bottom lip to stop my whimper when his thumb brushed over my
peaked nipple at the same time another kiss met my skin – this
time, closer to my ear. Edward's hips shifted under the covers,
pressing his very-prominent erection against my ass, but it was his
deep moan when I arched against him that practically had me begging
for him.
"Tell
me," he commanded, rolling me completely onto my stomach and
dragging his fingers down my arms so that his hands could massage
down my back. "Was last night too soon, baby?" he asked,
placing a kiss to each of my shoulder blades as his thumbs worked the
muscles down my spine.
"No,"
I sighed, my body practically shaking with the want for him; I felt
like a cat in heat – primed and ready for him.
A moan
finally escaped my mouth as his tongue swirled over my ribs and down
to the small of my back.
"Should
I stop, then?" he asked, slithering down my body just a bit in
order to cup both my ass cheeks.
I shook my
head, finally glancing over my shoulder and meeting his gaze. "No,"
I breathed, locking eyes with him.
I'd thought
he'd looked like he'd wanted to eat me alive last night, but nothing
compared to the look in his eyes right then. His hair was everywhere
– the very definition of sex hair – and his crooked smirk curled
up at the corner of his mouth. His face was covered in two-day-old
stubble, his eyes were dark and filled with a deadly gleam, and his
hands never stopped touching, caressing.
"What
were you thinking about, love?" he asked, his eyes still locked
with mine as he bent to press an open-mouthed kiss to a spot just
above my bottom.
"I
don't remember." I moaned the half-truth because Edward had a
tendency to make me forget my very name, everything else be damned.
"Good,"
he grunted, crawling up my body so that his mouth was by my ear.
"God, I fucking want you so badly right now," he purred,
suckling my earlobe at the same time his hand slipped between my
legs. "Mmm, and I'm not the only one feeling...needy this
morning," he crooned, smiling against the shell of my ear before
licking it teasingly.
His hand
palmed me possessively, his fingers touched everywhere but where I
wanted him the most, and I found my hips trying to raise up to meet
him, to guide him to the right spot.
"I can
help with this, baby..." he teased again, still avoiding where I
wanted his fingers – or any part of him, really – the most.
"Edward,"
I growled, unable to take it any longer. "Stop fucking teasing,
please..."
"It
seems I will get to fuck you before the sun rises," he mused
aloud, a dark chuckle escaping him.
"Edward,"
I pleaded again, looking back over my shoulder.
He moved
back slightly, one hand weaving into my hair and the other bending my
leg out to the side. Wrenching my head to the side by my hair, he
pressed every inch of his body against mine, and I could feel him
hard and ready between my legs as he braced an arm by my shoulder,
kissing me senseless.
"Tell
me to stop, Bella," he grunted in my ear after tearing away from
my mouth.
"I
can't," I panted, squeezing my eyes shut. "Fuck me,
Edward..."
Edward
exhaled sharply, driving into me with a sudden thrust of his hips,
and we both cried out into the early morning darkness.
"Fuck,
yes," he hissed into my neck, once again nipping lightly at my
flesh with his teeth.
It was
rough, deliciously sweaty, and all-consuming. It was two bodies
acting completely on instinct, and it wasn't long before I was close
– really close – because the feel of Edward filling me over and
over, the sound of skin against skin, and taste of his deep, wet
kisses every time he pulled my hair back was pushing me closer and
closer to the edge; I couldn't stop myself from falling over, despite
how much I wanted all those things to last.
"Holy
fuck," I gasped, my head falling to the pillow as we both came
with a fierceness I wasn't sure either of us was prepared for.
Edward's
sweaty forehead fell to my shoulder, his breathing ragged as he
panted, "Oh yeah...good morning, love..."
I snorted
into a laugh that I couldn't stop, rolling my eyes as he joined me. I
rolled in his embrace, wincing when we separated – not from
discomfort, but from the loss of being connected to him.
He reached
up with gentle fingers, brushed a lock of hair from my face, and
leaned down to kiss me sweetly.
I smirked up
at him, chuckling, "Good morning to you, too."
~oOo~
"Come,
love," Edward ordered with a sweet smile, offering me his hand
and leading me out his front door. "I want to show you
something."
"'Kay,"
I agreed, taking his hand and following him out to his shed. As we
walked, I thought back to the last few hours.
We'd fallen
asleep for another few hours but had woken up absolutely famished.
We'd showered, dressed, and made breakfast together, which had almost
resulted in the christening of Edward's kitchen counters because he'd
thought it would be hilarious to make French toast, only to slam a
bottle of maple syrup down on the counter. It had been a challenge,
with his eyebrow raised and a wicked smirk on his face, but he hadn't
been able to fight his smile when I'd exploded into laughter.
His grin had
fallen when I'd picked up the bottle to tease him by pouring it
slowly over my French toast, licking my own finger with a moan, just
to lock eyes with his. He'd licked his own lips, his gaze falling to
my mouth as he'd watched me lick my finger clean.
The ping of
an incoming email had broken our gazes, making us both jump. It had
been Carlisle, saying that he would be there soon, that he was
leaving Seattle then. The reminder of reality had been like a slap in
the face for both Edward and me. We'd been almost lost in a haze of
sex, love, and sweat for almost twelve hours, and Carlisle's email
had brought us back to the truth.
We weren't
finished with what we had to do. We weren't out of the woods. If
anything, we were in more danger than ever, so we'd eaten our food in
silence.
I was pulled
out of my thoughts when we walked past the garage. Edward tugged his
keys out of his pocket once we neared what I thought was a brush
pile, but when I really took a good look at it, I could see that it
was a tarp with limbs and leaves attached to it. Edward unlocked a
padlock that was hooked to a cable, giving the thing a tug. It zipped
cleanly through the eyes of two tarps, causing the cover to fall
away. My eyes widened at the sight in front of me.
The whole
time, Edward's helicopter had been sitting hidden in plain sight. As
he pulled the cover away, dropping it to the grass, my mouth fell
open. I don't know what I had pictured in my head, but it wasn't what
was currently in front of me.
The front
half of the helicopter was blue, the back part, white. It sat on a
fairly large slab of concrete, and it looked fast and expensive, and,
Lord help me...sexy.
"Whoa,"
I breathed, walking around it, carefully reaching out to trail my
fingers down its length.
"W-We
may n-need to f-fly back to Alaska, B-Bella," he sputtered,
running a hand through his hair and then along his neck nervously.
"Oh?"
I asked, looking from him, back to the helicopter, and then back to
him. "You think so?"
"We've
stayed away longer than I expected to, and my dad suggested that we
leave my car here and take the chopper..." He shrugged, tugging
the tarp out of the way.
I grinned,
but he wasn't looking at me because he was nervous for some reason.
"Well, that will get us back fast," I said, walking to him.
"So...I get to see you fly?"
His head
spun around, his face a little shocked. He nodded slowly, not saying
anything else.
"Mmm,
that's...really hot," I chuckled, cupping his face.
He fought
his smile, but he couldn't stop his eye roll. "Just...grab that
other tarp, love. I need to make sure she's ready, if we're gonna
take her."
"Oh,
she's a she, is she?" I giggled, dodging his grasping
hands as I ran to the other side to pull away the other side of the
cover. "You sound like me and my damn Mustang," I muttered,
smiling when he chuckled.
It didn't
take long for him to run whatever tests he needed to make sure she
was ready to go, if that was what his dad wanted. Seeing him sit down
in the pilot seat was almost too much for me to look at because he
looked confident, sexy, and capable as he flipped switches and
checked gauges. He looked relaxed in the seat, wearing dark jeans and
a gray T-shirt. When he finally hopped down to the ground, it was all
I could do not to kiss him senseless, but he had something else to
show me.
After
closing the door, he grabbed my hand and walked us around to his
garage, which really was his wood shop. He took his keys out again,
unlocking the door and raising it up over his head. I looked around
the garage and then back to Edward's pensive face.
This
was the real Edward. The Edward that didn't want to fight, didn't
want to see people get hurt anymore, didn't want to shed any more
blood than he had to. This was the place Edward came to, to
completely lose himself in something he loved to do.
Lining the
back wall was a work bench covered in tools, and standing in the
center was an unfinished bar height table that had this cool storage
thing underneath it. The chairs were already done and lined up like
good little soldiers along the empty far wall; they were already
stained a deep walnut finish.
I reached
out, gliding my fingers over the surface of the unfinished table. It
was smooth, sanded, but dusty.
I brushed
off my hand, looking up at him.
He swallowed
thickly. "I had to stop what I was doing with that one. There
was this girl missing..." he murmured, smirking when I smiled up
at him.
"You'll
finish it, though?" I verified, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yes,
Bella," he chuckled.
"This..."
I started, pointing around the room, "and those
birdhouses...that's more than just shop class in a freaking public
school, Edward."
He laughed,
shrugging and pulling me to him. "You're right. I did take a
class from this old man in California about a year ago. The
birdhouses...those were kits that I painted the way I wanted them to
look. They were the reason I took shop to begin with," he
explained, kissing the top of my head and gesturing to a shelf over
in the corner. "Those have taught me a lot..."
The shelf
was filled with books – all "how to" books – but for a
moment, I wondered how much of his hobby was learned and how much was
just pure talent, just one of those things people were born to do.
A beeping
sound started coming from one of the cabinets over the work bench,
and Edward let go of me to walk to it. He opened the cabinet door to
reveal a few CCTV screens. I recognized Carlisle's BMW instantly.
"My
dad," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
I was not
prepared for the emotions of seeing Carlisle. Not at all. I wasn't
prepared for the flash of what had been shown on TV – a bullet
through his shoulder as he tried to protect my father; the second
bullet had hit Charlie anyway. I wasn't prepared to see him step out
gracefully from his car, his arm wrapped in a sling.
I sat down
hard in one of Edward's chairs, barely focusing on Edward greeting
his dad, asking him if he was okay. I was shockingly jealous for just
a split second, but it wasn't fair of me. He could just as easily
have lost his father that day. The bullet could've been six inches
the other way and taken Carlisle. I felt so very guilty because in
the time that he'd been taking care of me, I'd come to truly love
Carlisle, and that went all the way back to the day he'd helped me
open Gravity.
"Bella?"
I heard Carlisle call me, and I looked up into his face.
He was
shattered and sick with guilt. He looked heartbroken and weary. His
skin still looked a little ashen, from what I could guess was blood
loss and pain. His normal smart, sharp eyes were liquid, soft, and
slightly afraid.
"I'm
sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, cupping my face, and all I
could do was nod, my tears threatening to fall. "I'm so
sorry...I tried..."
"I
know," I said with another nod, unable to look into his stricken
face.
The dam
burst on my emotions when he pulled me into a one-armed hug. He
smelled like a dad – not quite the Old Spice and tobacco smell of
my own father, but it was so close that it hurt my heart to its very
core.
"Are
you okay?" I finally managed, pulling back to eye his sling and
then back up to his face and swiping at my tears with the back of my
hand.
"I'm
fine. I've had worse," he said simply with a shrug, and he
sounded so much like his son that I couldn't help the small smile and
a nod of acceptance. He cupped my face again, kissing the top of my
head. "I'd like to look at the things he...left for you, if
that's okay."
I took a
deep breath, finally relaxing when Edward's hand caressed the back of
my neck. I nodded, saying, "Yeah, okay. I'm sorry we left. I
just...I had to go..."
"I
understand, Bella," Carlisle sighed, stepping back when I slid
from the stool. "I would've done the same thing."
We made our
way back into the house, spreading everything we had out in front of
Carlisle on the kitchen counter. He read my father's letter, his head
shaking back and forth, as if in denial, as he read every word –
twice. He looked over the photos, the police report, and the rest of
the things that had been inside the box that was left in my tree
house, finally taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his
nose.
"Why
didn't he tell me this shit?" he growled softly.
"Maybe
because you would have killed King sooner for him...out of loyalty,
and he didn't want that?" Edward suggested from the other side
of the counter, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned closer.
"It sounds like he wanted revenge of some sort but that he was
also protecting Bella. I don't think he ever wanted her to
remember...if she didn't have to."
"Do you
remember?" Carlisle asked, his head spinning to face me.
"Yes,
but not until a few days ago," I said softly, nodding as I
pulled the police report toward me. "It was King. He broke the
door down, made me leave the room..." My breath caught in my
throat, but I recovered quickly, gazing back down at the report in
front of me.
"The
thing I don't get..." Edward started, his finger jamming down
onto the stack of pictures of my mother. "I don't get what
Charlie's saying about DNA. There's nothing in that box that could
help us with that. I mean, it's just papers and this shit," he
grunted, fiddling with the key, lighter, and handkerchief that had
been in the manila envelope along with everything else.
Carlisle
studied the letter again, frowning, and then looked over the contents
of the box one more time. He picked up the key, spinning it around
between his thumb and forefinger, holding it up to me.
"Do you
recognize this?" he asked, laying it in my hand.
"No,"
I sighed, "but that doesn't mean anything. I know he has a safe
at the house. I know he has a locked cabinet and drawer in his desk
at the office. There's no telling how many safety deposit boxes he
had..." I trailed off because as we all knew, my father was very
wealthy.
Carlisle
took another deep breath but closed my hand over the key. "Keep
it...for now. I'm not sure what to do with it right this second.
Guard it with your life, though, Bells. It may be the end of all of
this shit." He shook his head, fighting a smile. "Charlie
sure was a cryptic bastard."
We all
chuckled because I'd said the same thing when we were in the tree
house.
"We
have a problem, sweetheart," Carlisle began, turning in the
stool next to mine to face me completely. "Benny says they'll
release King if the state can't prove their case. And without
Charlie, there's hardly a case, except for his recordings...and they
may be thrown out because the defense is screaming about it. I think
King suspects you could remember all along, and Charlie has kept you
quiet for all these years about what happened the night your mother
was killed. I think that he targeted Charlie from the get go. And I
think that King was using Billy Black to keep tabs on Charlie
for fucking years."
"Right,"
I agreed, nodding slowly. "But...this makes me now the prime
target...with you next, Carlisle."
"Exactly,"
he snorted, rolling his eyes. "We thought the trial would be
over after Charlie's testimony and that King would end up in prison,
where..."
"I know
about Sam," I growled. "That seems too easy for King."
"Sam
is...deadly," Carlisle said with a smirk. "He wouldn't be
so kind as to just stab him. He would make him suffer because that's
what he does..."
I snorted
because, again, father sounded just like son. "So what now?"
"I want
you two to get your asses back to Kate's," he said, glancing
between me and Edward. "I want you to fly there because we never
know if the chopper may come in handy, and I want it at the ready."
"Sir,"
Edward grunted with a nod. "Kate's fuel tanks are full, so we
should be good there..."
"Excellent,"
his father agreed. "I know I can't stop you, so have your girls
get to work on these things." He waved a hand at counter.
"Especially that key. I have to go back to Seattle before I can
join you."
"No!"
I growled, grabbing his uninjured arm at the sleeve because I
couldn't bear it if I lost him, too. "You're gonna get fucking
killed!"
"I'm
with her," Edward snapped. "You need to come with us, Dad."
"I will
join you, but I think it's time to pay a visit to Billy Black before
I do," he stated, his voice not-so-nice. In fact, it sounded
like he meant to do more than just talk. "And I need to meet
with Benny before I do. They'll put a wire on me. They want to get
this done, just in case King gets released, because if he goes free,
we may all have a problem. He'll rally his men around him, and it
will be an all-out war on us. He may only have a few left, but Miller
is still out there."
I grimaced,
shaking my head. "All the more reason for you to come with us,
Carlisle. Please!"
He sighed,
shaking his head. "I promised Charlie that I would stick by you
through this whole thing, but that means...ending it." He
growled those last two words, and I knew there was no changing his
mind. "I also want to know if Benny thinks you should come
forward."
"Absolutely
fucking not!" Edward growled. "I can't watch her if the
Feds take her into custody. She'll get killed! Not a chance in
fucking hell!"
Edward
looked like he wanted to punch his father at that last suggestion,
and I got up from the stool to walk to him. There wasn't anything
that could separate me from Edward now, and he needed to know that.
"Look
at me," I snapped, grabbing his face to make him turn to me, but
he fought me as he glared at Carlisle. "Edward," I said
softly, and he finally turned his fiery eyes to mine. "They
can't make me do anything."
He seethed
for a minute more but finally nodded at me, relaxing just a bit as he
stared down at me, his eyes softening a bit.
"Bella,
you've witnessed too much," Carlisle noted, shaking his head
sadly. "Miller, King..." He paused, almost like he was
thinking about something, but he said nothing more on the subject. He
simply turned to us with a resolved expression. "Get back to
Alaska. I'll join you soon. And let me know what you come up with as
far as that key goes." He held up his hand when Edward and I
started to protest again. "I promise to be careful. Please, just
do as I say..."
We both
nodded, but I could tell neither of us liked watching him walk back
to the car. We spent the next couple of hours closing up Edward's
home. We packed, locked down the garage and Edward's car, and then
loaded up the helicopter. And of all the places we'd been, of all the
houses I'd seen since being on the run, I was the most upset watching
Edward lock his front door after setting the alarm because that
house felt like home.
Edward
lifted me into the co-pilot seat in silence, buckling me in. He
climbed in on the other side, handing over a headset to put on.
Before I could put it on, he stopped me, his brow furrowed as he
swallowed thickly.
"Wh-When
this sh-shit is o-over, love, you are coming home...with me,"
he started with a nervous stutter but ended in his commanding voice,
and I smiled up at him because that was the pure sound of my Edward –
a paradox of shy but in control.
"I
planned on it, Edward," I told him, and he leaned in quickly,
kissing me deeply. It was over too soon.
He smiled
sweetly, nodding once, and put his headset on, gesturing that I
should do the same. The chopper started with a sound of pure power
and noise, and the ground slowly disappeared from underneath us as we
lifted off.
1 comments:
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm... Yay for them! :D
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