Saturday, April 14, 2001 | By: Drotuno

Blood & Glory Chapter 19

I gasped, sitting straight up in bed. I was confused for just a moment as to where I was, but it all came back to me slowly – Edward's house, Charlie dead, Mom murdered. I took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes closed, and looked around. I was alone in his room, and it was dark. We'd arrived at his house in the early morning, so I must have slept the day away after reading Charlie's letter.
I looked down at myself, feeling gross, achy, and strung out. I was only wearing my underwear, I noticed as the covers fell away from me. I got up and padded my way into the bathroom, turning on the water for a quick shower. I needed to wash the sleep, vomit, and tears away.
When my shower was over and my teeth were brushed, I wrapped a towel around myself, walking back into the bedroom. The house was so quiet that it was almost creepy, and suddenly, I needed to see Edward. My whole body truly just ached to be in the same room as him. Finding his discarded black button down shirt from the day before, I pulled it on in a rush, just to at least have his smell near me. I was halfway down the hall when I realized that I'd put nothing else on, and that caused me to almost trip.
I was in such a hurry to find him that I didn't remember the safety of my underwear or the security that they usually brought with them; I only needed Edward. And with that thought, despite the sadness of my father's death that I was still feeling, I suddenly felt lighter, freer. I didn't need to hide from Edward anymore because he was all things safe and secure, warm and comforting.
I froze for just a moment, enjoying the freedom, the revelation that the only thing that mattered was the man that had done nothing but take care of me since he'd found me in Miller's basement. He'd fought me, pushed me, loved me, and wiped away tear after tear. My love for him was bigger than anything Miller could have ever done to me, and I knew that more standing there in Edward's hallway than I ever had before. I'd lost my father and now my mother all over again; I couldn't lose him – and that fear was bigger than any punch, burn, or scar.
I found him in the kitchen, laptop open and papers strewn up and down the counter. He was wearing only the jeans he'd had on the night before as he ran a hand through his hair roughly. He seemed to be studying...well, everything. Not only were the contents of my father's box on the counter, but some other papers, as well, including a picture of myself that I didn't recognize.
It was the man himself my eyes were drawn to, though, because just seeing him made the nerves in my stomach completely calm. He was pacing in front of the papers on the bar, his face grim and dark as he ran another hand through his hair. He braced his arms on the counter, completely oblivious to my presence, every muscle in his upper body stretching taut with the stance he took as he continued to look over what seemed to be the police report from my mother's...murder.
The idea that she hadn't killed herself was new and a little acute, and I inhaled sharply as that thought rattled through my brain. I felt like I finally understood myself because my nightmares had never made any sense whatsoever. They were always confusing and strange, like I could never quite reach exactly what I was aiming for.
Edward's gaze shot up sharply from the counter at the sound I made, his warm, evergreen eyes raking over me before he moved.
"Hey," he sighed, walking from behind the counter. "I'm sorry you woke up alone, but I w-was restless, a-and I th-thought I'd w-wake you," he stuttered sweetly as he pulled out a bar stool. "Come here, and let me look at you," he said, changing from nervous to commanding and concerned. He swept me up, setting me gently on the stool so that he could look me in the face. "How do you feel, baby?" he asked, tucking my damp hair back behind my ears.
"Better now," I sighed, reaching up to touch his face when he sat in front of me.
In fact, I couldn't stop touching him, just to make sure he was there. My hands slid over his shoulders, down his arms, and then right back to his face again.
"I didn't want to leave you alone, baby," he sighed, pulling me closer so that his thighs were on either side of mine. "I just wanted you to get some rest, and I was too...wired to stay in there," he explained, lifting my face with the tips of his fingers under my chin to make sure I heard him.
"S'okay," I mumbled, feeling a strange sense of need just about swallow me whole. "What are you doing?" I asked, trying to fight it because I felt unstable at the moment.
"Besides ogling you in my shirt?" he teased with a sexily-raised eyebrow.
I snickered, shrugging, and looked back at him. "It smelled like weren't there...I took it," I stated as fact and not apologizing one bit.
He grinned and kissed my forehead. "Fine, take whatever you want, love," he replied with a chuckle as he turned to the counter. "I was sending all this shit to my dad and Benny," he said, turning back to me with the police report in his hand. "My dad had no fucking clue about any of this shit..."
"Is he pissed at us?" I asked, wincing at the mere idea of an angry Carlisle because that shit wasn't pretty.
"No, baby," Edward crooned, shaking his head and reaching for my hand to link our fingers together. "He said that as soon as he relayed Charlie's last message to you, he'd figured it was something important. He would have been really fucking pissed had you run off to do it by yourself, though," he growled, giving me a pointed look.
"I know," I whined, looking away from him. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight..."
"He's coming down from Seattle to see you tomorrow, so we're staying a little longer. I've already let them know, Bella." He sighed, setting the police report down. "None of this shit matters, love. Are you all right?"
I nodded and then shrugged. "I feel strangely...okay," I told him but searched his face for answers – any answers. "I've had nightmares for years that just didn't make sense," I confessed softly. "But they weren't nightmares, apparently." I snorted humorlessly, pointing to the counter. "They were memories. That kind of makes me feel better about my own mind. I still don't know how I'd forgotten it all..."
Edward studied my face for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I've been told that it's a defense mechanism," he started, picking up our hands with our fingers still linked and kissing the back of mine. "I've seen guys survive prison camps that way. I've seen them forget it all and still be able to function normally. My dad says that sometimes, a mind can only take so much before it turns in on itself to protect you, and he's seen worse shit than I have."
I nodded in agreement, swallowing thickly. "I'm...I'm glad to know that she didn't leave me," I whispered, tilting my head to look at one of the pictures from my dad.
"Don't look, love," Edward sighed, turning the stack over. "Don't remember her that way." He pulled his hand from mine and cupped both sides of my face, pressing his forehead to mine. "No one could figure out why she would leave you, and now we know she didn't, baby. She was stolen from you, Bella, and we all intend to make it right, okay?"
My gaze was locked with his, and I could see he meant every word in his almost-black eyes, and he meant them with severe and unadulterated malice. He wasn't just sincere; he was vowing to me that anyone that had hurt me would die. If I didn't know him, didn't love him the way that I did, it would've scared me. This was the part of him that he considered the monster, but he was far from it. He was just protective, and angry, and so very loyal. My Edward was pissed that I was hurting, and he was reacting the only way that he knew how; he wanted, needed to just fucking fix it – and it was frustrating him all to hell that he couldn't.
"How long have you been up going over this stuff?" I asked him, standing up on the rung of his stool between his legs so that I could wrap my arms around his neck because my need was growing exponentially.
"A few hours," he sighed, relaxing in my arms instantly as his hands rested on my waist. His eyes never left mine. "I...I d-didn't know wh-what else to do f-for y-you, love," he admitted softly.
"I know," I said with a nod, kissing his forehead, "and it's okay, Edward. I don't know what I'm doing about it, either. I can't think about it right now..."
Edward nodded, accepting my reply and leaning in to kiss my collarbone, which became exposed as his too-large shirt slipped down just a bit over my shoulder.
"Do you want something to eat, Bella? You didn't exactly keep down anything this morning," he mumbled softly against my skin as his lips traveled up to my neck. "God, you always taste so fucking good..."
"Not hungry," I whispered, squeezing my eyes closed when his mouth opened warm and wet at the soft, sensitive part just below my ear. I felt myself slip deeper into that hole of need that I'd practically woken up in.
I threaded my fingers into his hair, tugging him gently away from my neck so I could look at his handsome face and his darkening green eyes. He licked his lips as he huffed a deep breath, his brow furrowing.
"I'm sorry," he sighed, looking so guilty over something he didn't need to be. "Sometimes, you're really hard to resist." His mouth turned up into the crooked smile that I loved.
"Don't apologize," I said, leaning in to barely brush my lips against his, "and don't stop. I...I need..."
"Tell me," he murmured just before he lightly nipped at my bottom lip, dragging his tongue across it. "Tell me what you need..."
All I wanted was Edward, with everything in me. I needed to finally give myself over to him completely, I needed to wrap myself in the safety and warmth of his strong arms, and I needed to finally throw away fears that were insignificant in comparison to the desire, love, and need I had for the man in my arms.
My hands cupped both sides of his face, and I leaned down to kiss him, trying to convey everything I felt, everything I wanted in just that kiss. When our tongues swirled together, Edward's hands gripped and caressed everything he knew was "safe" on the outside of the material. He still hadn't discovered what was underneath his shirt that was slowly slipping down my shoulders; that is, until he palmed my thighs, ghosting up to my ass.
Then, he froze.
"Bella," he panted, his head falling to my shoulder as he pulled me to his lap and I wrapped my legs around him. " have to say the words, not just... Oh fuck, you feel like heaven," he growled, his hands groping my bare ass with an erotic rhythm. "Not just show up like this. I need you to be ready...I need you to say it."
"I want you," I stated, my own forehead falling to his shoulder. "I love much," I whispered, skimming small kisses up his neck to his ear.
"I really want you, too, baby," he admitted, kissing roughly up my neck only to pull back to look me in the eyes. "I need you to be sure. I'd die if we jumped the gun and fucked up, or...or if you wanted this for some other reason... God, I love you so fucking much, and I'd hate it if we—"
"No," I said, wriggling closer to him. "I...I'm ready, Edward. My only thought when I woke up was to get to you. So much so that I completely forgot medicine, and underwear, and...fears. So I'm asking you...please, don't stop."
"Fuck," he growled, his eyes darkening as he dove for my mouth, plundering it with his tongue.
Suddenly, I realized just how much Edward had been holding back from me. He was strength, power, and all things carnal that I'd never felt from him before that one moment as his hands couldn't decide exactly where to be. He was under the shirt and over it, he was gripping the fabric at my sides to pull me closer, and then he was tugging the damn thing farther down my shoulder, just to expose more skin.
"I want to do this right," he breathed against the skin of my shoulder just before dragging his teeth sensually over my skin. His eyes locked with mine through his long, dark lashes as his lips never left my shoulder. "I want to...mmm, savor you, every fucking inch of you. I want to...take my time, Bella," he said, swirling his tongue slowly over my shoulder and ending in one more open-mouthed kiss.
There was nothing to say to that because he suddenly stood up with my arms and legs still wrapped around him. I couldn't help but kiss his jaw, dragging my teeth over its strong edge, weaving my fingers back into his hair.
"And I want you in my bed," he growled, striding down the hall, practically kicking the door closed. "You have no fucking idea how long I've wanted you...right there," he purred as we fell across the bed in a tangle of arms, legs, lips, and tongues.
"How long?" I gasped, my head rolling back as he dove for my neck.
"Since our first kiss, love," he chuckled darkly, grinding his hips against me.
"Then I've got you beat," I teased him, dragging my fingers up his back and reveling in every muscle, every dip.
He laughed softly in my ear, raising up just enough to sit back on his heels between my thighs and tug roughly on the buttons of the shirt I was wearing.
"Tell me," he growled, tugging again and sending a button pinging somewhere into his bedroom.
"The first day I saw you cooking breakfast in just shorts," I giggled, reaching for his hands to stop him from ruining his shirt.
He grinned, and it was smug and lighthearted...and a touch embarrassed. "Really, Ms. Swan?" he asked, grabbing my hands and pinning them to the bed above my head. "Those stay there..." he commanded with a smirk and a sexy-ass raised eyebrow, going right back to the shirt to send one more button sailing away. "You were thinking about me that soon?"
"Hell, yes," I snorted, breaking into more giggles when he popped off another button, and then another. "I thought you'd grown up to be damn hot, Edward. It's not like you don't know...and who can resist a half-naked man that can cook?" I asked him, smiling when he let out a deep, sexy chuckle.
He left the bottom two buttons intact, and I could feel his demeanor change and slow down. Edward braced an elbow next to my head, lowering his body slowly, half on top of mine. Playing with my hair with the hand by my head, Edward gazed almost languidly down my body and back up to my face, the fingers of his free hand tracing the exposed skin he'd revealed.
"I can't wait to touch see you," he said, his voice sounding like smooth velvet but also unsure, like he was confessing a secret.
"No more waiting," I sighed, pushing at him and pushing at him until he finally relented, falling onto his back with a smirk and heavy-lidded eyes, and with gripping hands and flexing abs. "We've waited long enough, Edward," I huffed, straddling his thighs in order to grip the front of his jeans.
As I ogled him underneath me, I couldn't imagine or remember ever wanting someone more. And for a moment, I wondered if this was what Esme was talking about – that feeling of being completely whole and wanting to share myself with only one person. Leaning over him, I braced my hands by his head and kissed the ink on his chest that represented who he was, and I gave my fears one last mental check as he caressed my thighs, my ass, and my lower back with slow-moving, sensual hands.
There were no more fears.
There was only me – my real self. There wasn't panic, or the need to cover up, or even the knowledge that my scars were still visible, because when my eyes locked with his, I could tell scars were not on Edward's mind. He loved me, wanted me, and armed with that epiphany, I thought I would eat him alive.
I licked up his chest, dragging lips, teeth, and tongue over his skin. By the time my lips met his eagerly awaiting mouth, there were sounds in the room that I didn't recognize from either of us. It sounded desperate, damn erotic, and so fucking needy that it was almost distracting, but we were finally giving in. With a firm grip on my ass, Edward ground my center against his erection, and we both moaned into each other's mouths.
"Fuck, wet," he breathed against my lips. "But I want you wetter than that for me," he growled, sounding almost threatening and nipping at my bottom lip.
I sat up, bracing my hands on his glorious stomach as his hands held my hips firmly, grinding me against him. I backed out of his reach, going once again for the button of his jeans.
"I want to see you," I told him, tugging each button on his jeans with a slow, teasing tug just to watch him squirm.
"Bella," he groaned, his head falling back to the bed when his cock sprang free from the confines of the old, soft denim. "Baby...when these come off," he said, sitting up before I could yank the jeans down, "it's over. There's no going back."
I shirked out of his grasp, pushed him back down onto his back, and yanked down his jeans, giving Edward a pointed look. "All that talk about 'one day,''s over. No more. 'One day' has arrived..."
"Fuck me," he hissed as his eyes rolled back, lifting his hips as I finally got rid of the material that I'd been struggling with for the last few minutes and dropped them off the side of the bed to the floor.
"Oh, most definitely, but...later," I purred, crawling up his now perfectly-naked and artfully-sculpted body, which I was now thinking was completely mine, trapping his substantial arousal between our stomachs. "Right now, I want you to make love to me, Edward..."
He wrapped an arm around my waist and slid a hand up to the base of my neck, rolling us again so that he was braced over me. He kissed me hard, deep, delving his tongue into my mouth as my hips tried to find some friction against the thigh he'd slid between my legs.
His mouth broke from mine, only to lick and suck his way to my ear. "Do you remember what I told you, baby?" he asked, his voice taking on a husky, sexy tenor that just about made all my girly parts clench. "Do you? What I told you I'd do to you when the time came?"
"Sweet Jesus," I breathed, my hands gliding down his back and back up to his strong shoulders only to pull him closer because fuck, yes, I remembered everything that he'd ever said to me, ever promised me.
My shirt was a fucking twisted mess all around me, but it still covered the lower half of me when Edward pulled back a bit. One of my breasts was exposed, and he lowered his mouth to place a long suckle to my pebbled nipple before pushing the fabric off the other breast only to give it the same attention. My body arched off the bed, but firm hands held me still.
"Let me see if I can remind you," he murmured against my sternum before his tongue snaked out to swirl over my skin. "I believe I said I'd kiss you...everywhere."
He slipped farther down my body, opening the shirt more to swirl another licking kiss just above my belly button.
"I'm pretty sure," he crooned, sitting up just a bit and licking his lips, "that I said I'd taste you, that I wanted to feel you come on my tongue. Am I right, Bella?" he asked, and I swear he sounded like the devil making a deal for my soul because at that point, I'd give it to him if he made good on any of those promises.
"Edward," I groaned, squirming under him, but he held me still.
"Am I right, baby?" he asked again, a small smile curling the corners of his now kiss-bruised lips.
"Uh huh," I panted, nodding frantically.
"Then I'm asking you one last time, love," he said, his voice changing from carnal and sensual to caring and tentative. "Are you sure?"
I gazed up at him, and even though his eyes were heavy-lidded and lust-filled, even though his fingers were tracing indistinguishable circles over my exposed breasts, and even though he was dragging his tongue slowly across his bottom lip like he was waiting to devour me, I knew for a fucking fact that he'd stop right then if I said the word. I suddenly – if it were possible – wanted and loved him more than ever.
"I love you. I'm sure about you," I told him, hoping that said it all because there wasn't anything more important than getting that point across right then. He was more important than scars and fears; he was my everything – just...everything.
Edward's gaze softened, and he leaned down to press his lips to mine. "Christ, Bella, I'm so fucking in love with you. So much," he breathed, pressing his forehead to mine, briefly locking gazes with me. "I want to show you...want to make you feel it..."
"Me, too," I whimpered, feeling almost overwhelmed with the emotions both of us were feeling. If it was this intense before, I couldn't even think about how intense it would be when we were finally one.
He kissed me one more time before sitting up between my legs, his fingers gliding down the edges of his ruined shirt. It was make or break time for me, but there wasn't an ounce of fear left in me. I nodded at him as his fingers gripped the bottom of his shirt. With one last swift tug, he yanked the shirt completely open, sending the last two buttons off into oblivion.
Jesus fucking Christ, she was beautiful! Every fucking inch of her. I didn't see fear in her eyes, and I never fucking saw her scars. I just saw the woman that held my heart and soul in her hands, looking up at me with the same desire in her eyes that must have matched my own.
As hard as I was, as much as I wanted to bury myself inside of her, I really wanted to touch her, taste her. No more clothes, no more panic attacks. Just the two of us.
"Did you know what you were doing to me when you came out in my fucking shirt, baby?" I asked her, tugging that sinful thing off of her and dropping it to the bedroom floor. "I thought I was fucking dreaming..."
Bella snorted, biting her bottom lip. "No..."
Finally, she lay before me in nothing, completely naked. I shook my head, trying to clear it, trying to slow down, because this was monumental for her. And she didn't look panicked one bit. That scar cream must have really been working because the last time she'd been uncovered in front of me, I could still see the burns on her stomach and a few lines here and there. Maybe love was fucking blind, like they said, but all I could see was her glorious body sprawled out underneath me.
"You have to be..." I breathed, leaning over her just to brush my lips across hers, "...the most fucking gorgeous thing I've ever seen. Ever, baby."
Maybe waiting for her had made this...more – more intense, more important, more, more, more. I'd fantasized about this moment, about finally being with her, but I wasn't sure I'd come close in my mind because my chest almost ached with the need to be inside of her. I'd never felt that way about any woman in my fucking life, and it was scary, but it was also comforting because I knew I'd never want another for as long as I fucking lived.
I couldn't believe I was touching her with open hands, brushing thumbs, and long, wet kisses to every inch of her. I slid farther down her body, cupping her breasts before trailing my fingers lightly down her stomach, and I finally saw her bare in front of my face. I could smell her want for me, and it was almost my undoing.
Glancing up at Bella, I made sure she was still doing fine before I placed kisses to each scar on her hips and one that was between her bellybutton and her mound. It was my first time seeing them, and I paid them the reverence and respect that I'd paid to every other scar of hers.
Trailing my fingers oh-so-lightly, I traced the edge of where her legs met her hips, placing a kiss to each thigh and inhaling deeply. I closed my eyes, following the same path with my nose and lips, but her legs were rubbing together.
"Open up for me, baby," I purred, swirling my tongue where her skin creased. "I want to see this beautiful pussy, love."
I placed my hands on the inside of her thighs, moaning when they fell open for me. My thumbs caressed the creases between her legs as my tongue finally met her wet heat for the first time without any barrier between us.
"Edward," she cried, her hips bucking up toward my face.
One of her legs fell to the side while the other one went over my shoulder, digging her heel into my back to bring me closer. My girl wanted more.
The flavor of her, the taste was like nothing else on the planet. The heat and slick skin was addictive as I buried my tongue as deep inside of her as I could. My thumbs continued to move, one at the tight muscle just outside of her lips and the other now finding a rhythm on her clit that had her hips meeting against my face.
Her hands gripped sheets, and her head fell back to my pillow, all of her hair around her like a halo of chocolate. But it was her panting, her cries of my name that had me hard as steel, because she was fucking stunning when she was about to come, even more so when it hit her hard, like I wanted it to then.
I dragged my tongue between her folds, from one opening to the other, twirling it hard around her clit at the same time that I sank two fingers deep within her.
"Holy fuck, Edward," she cried out through gritted teeth, her walls clenching once hard around my fingers.
"Don't you fight it, love. You look at me when you come for me," I commanded, almost smiling when she cursed a string of profanities, her heel digging just shy of painful into my back.
Her eyes locked with mine just as I deliberately snaked my tongue out flat against her clit, curling my fingers just right to find the spot inside her that would send her flying over the edge. I sucked her hard into my mouth, my eyes rolling back as soon as she completely shattered.
Her walls clenched down over my fingers, and I couldn't help but lick her, taste her, feel her as she trembled hard against my mouth. It was so fucking amazing, and she was so fucking beautiful that my forehead fell to her thigh in order to keep me from coming at the sight and sound of her. Turning my head, I opened my mouth to the inside of her thigh, sucking hard to mark her, to claim her, to give her a reminder of who had made her feel that good.
"Edward, please..." Her breathless plea echoed in the room, and my head snapped up to look at her, to make sure she was still okay. She pulled at my shoulders, tugging me up her body. "Please, want you inside now..."
My brow furrowed at the few tears that leaked down her face, and I couldn't help but kiss them away. "You okay?" I asked, unable to help myself.
"Not bad tears," she explained softly, cupping my face as I settled between her legs, almost groaning at how perfect she felt beneath me. "Please, Edward," she whispered, rubbing her thumbs across my cheekbones.
I went to reach for my nightstand for a condom – not that I kept them there for this bed because no woman had ever been in this bed. The only woman that mattered stopped me, though, shaking her head.
"You don't need it," she told me, still shaking her head but linking our fingers together. "I'm on the shot. I want to...feel you, baby..."
Nothing could have stopped the moan at that point as I kissed her in a frenzy because fuck, if she wasn't killing me. I was clean; I was checked regularly, due to my traveling out of country, and I'd been completely celibate for over a month before even seeing Bella, but I'd never been with anyone without a condom, and just the mere thought of it was just one more thing that I'd dreamed about.
Squeezing her hand that was still in mine, we kissed almost roughly with turned heads, warm, wet mouths, and gasping moans escaping both of us. My hips instinctively pushed forward, and my eyes rolled back into my head when I slipped through her wet heat.
I broke away from her mouth, pressing my forehead to hers. "I love you," I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut as Bella rolled her hips over mine, her breathing as ragged as mine as I lined up with her just right. It took all I had not to just push into her as deep as I could go.
However, the very second I began to enter her, the feelings were almost too much. I'd never felt as connected to someone as I did right then. And the feel of her without the thin latex barrier between us was in-fucking-credible. Who knew such a thin piece of rubber could take away that much sensation? She was warm, tight, and so wet that my head fell to her shoulder once I was completely inside her.
It was a feeling of...finally. It was a feeling of the other half of me now connected with its mate. It was the feeling of home and comfort and the knowledge that every sexual experience I'd had before paled in comparison to that moment. It was as close to heaven as I could possibly fucking imagine. And I knew that none of it was completely physical, that it was emotional, as well, because my girl knew me, loved me in spite of all of my asinine behaviors, and would kill for me. I had to bury my face in her neck to hide the tears that threatened to fall.
"Christ," I breathed, still unable to move inside her yet.
"Edward," I heard her whimper in my ear as her arm wrapped all the way around my head, her other hand still squeezing my fingers.
"I know, baby," I panted, turning my head to place a long, slow kiss to her neck as I pulled slowly back. "I've never..."
"Oh, God..." rushed from her mouth as soon as I pushed back in, and I kissed up her jaw so that I could see her face.
I did it again and again at an agonizingly slow pace because her face was just stunning. Her neck arched back into my pillow; her cheeks flushed. Her mouth hung open as she tried to catch her breath, but it was those dark, chocolate eyes locked onto mine that caused me to pick up the pace because even though love was written all over her face, she looked...ravenous for me. And fuck, if that wasn't hot as hell.
Bella pulled her hand from mine, weaving her fingers in my hair and scraping them down my back, and her hips rose up to meet mine thrust for thrust. I gripped the sheets by her head in order to not pound her senseless. Bracing myself on my elbow so that I could touch her, I ghosted my hand down her side and hitched her leg up higher around my waist so I could go that much deeper inside of her. I felt her walls started to clench around me.
"That's it, love. Come for me...again," I purred in her ear. "But I'm so not fucking done with you yet..."
"Fuck, Edward," she practically growled. "You feel so good...right there."
I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face as she gripped my ass, guiding me where she wanted me, pushing me against herself just right so that I rubbed against her clit the way she wanted, the way she needed in order to get off. Gone was my fear-filled girl, and I didn't miss her one bit because as soon as she came with my name slipping from her lips, I found myself on my back.
"Mmm, baby," I growled through gritted teeth as she rode me hard. "You're so fucking beautiful riding my cock, love..."
I watched as a carnal smile graced my girl's features as she leaned back to grab my thighs in order take me in deeper. Her body was a graceful wave of motion, fluid and phenomenal in how she felt with every swivel of her hips, with every grip of her thighs at my sides.
"So good, Edward..."
Sweat glistened on her body, her hair sticking to her face as she continued her movements over me, and I was so fucking close, just watching her. I gripped her hips, guiding her as she started to falter and then thrusting hard up into her because my girl was close again, too.
"Give me another one, Bella," I commanded, pulling her down over me.
Her damp forehead pressed to mine as our bodies, slick and hot, slipped smoothly and erotically together.
"Together, baby," she panted, her little hands planting hard on either side of my head. "I can't... I want... Come with me," she finally ground out.
I rolled her back over because I knew she was so close that she couldn't even concentrate.
I captured a bead of sweat on my tongue that was dripping slowly down her neck, licking slowly up to her mouth. "Oh, Bella...your taste... I'll never get enough now, baby. Never," I growled, nipping at her bottom lip and claiming her mouth as her legs wrapped higher around me and her hands gripped my shoulders.
I slipped my hand between us, my forehead against hers, as I slowly but firmly pressed the spot that would bring her one more climax because fuck, I wasn't going to last much longer. The slow burn started in my stomach, blazing down to my dick, and my teeth bit softly down on Bella's bottom lip as her orgasm clenched around me hard.
"Shit," she breathed, her whole body arching up one more time before I finally gave in.
Her last climax was too much to fight, though I never wanted the feeling of been joined with her to end. Curses flew from my mouth as I finally came with an explosion, burying my face in her neck. My weight fell on her because I couldn't move, nor did I want to leave her touch or the feeling of being inside of her.
I was a ruined man. There was nothing that could keep me away from Bella now. Nothing.
I awoke to a still, quiet, and dark room. I didn't move, though, because my heavy blanket was breathing softly in my ear. I was lying on my stomach, and Edward was draped around me, our legs tangled together under the covers.
According to the clock, it was barely five in the morning. My body was deliciously achy – the kind of achy that reminded me exactly of what had taken place the night before. I had to fight an audible moan at just the memory of it because we'd finally made love. It had been everything I'd imagined and oh so much more.
I'd never felt as overwhelmed or as full as I had last night when Edward was worshiping me – and he had worshiped me...thoroughly. I thought my mind would actually snap with the feel of his mouth on me and with the emotions that came from finally becoming one with him. In all the activities prior, I'd wondered what the actual act would do to me once I was finally able to let go of my fears, and I'd gotten my answer – pure carnal, emotional, erotic pleasure capped off with a cemented feeling of more than just love. In fact, I wasn't sure there was a word for it.
Edward shifted behind me, his hand sliding down from my shoulder, along my side, eventually palming my ass, and I smiled into the pillow because I wasn't sure if he was dreaming or slowly waking up. I was glad he couldn't see my face at the moment because I was afraid of one outcome from last night.
I was insatiable for him now.
I wanted him again, even though I'd just woken up. I didn't care that the sun wasn't even out. In fact, just his unconscious touch had me wet and fighting the urge to turn over in his arms. I wanted to wrap myself around him again, see his face when he came hard, watch his body when every muscle seemed to be stretched tight, rolling underneath his smooth skin, and I wanted to see his eyes go from the beautiful sweet, calm green, to the almost pitch black of want that they had the night before. I wanted him to enter me with that gratifying slowness that he'd done, but I also wanted to see exactly what would happen had he not been so gentle, not been so controlled, because I could tell he was holding back. Hell, he'd always held back with me, and I was happy to say he didn't have to anymore.
My fears were gone, leaving me with a strange sense of peace because I could now focus on the situations that lay outside the bedroom we were in – something I'd not truly been able to do since Edward had found me in Miller's basement. I knew that something had to be done about King, about Miller, and now the responsibility rested with my memories, with Edward's crew and connections. I knew that Carlisle would be coming to Edward's house later, and I couldn't wait to see him because knowing Carlisle, he was probably taking his oldest friend's death pretty damn hard and had almost died himself trying to stop it.
I took a deep breath, fighting the heartache that rose to the surface because a huge list of things to do just flew through my mind at lightning speed – funeral arrangements, meetings at TT, and not to mention the sorting through of my mother's case. Edward had been going over her file when I'd interrupted him, and I was curious as to what his opinion was, what he thought the next step should be. However, I had a feeling that was why Carlisle was coming in from Seattle today.
Edward's hand moved again, this time slipping around to my stomach and up to my breast, cupping it fully. I smiled again, now beginning to think he was really awake and always woke up with sexual intentions.
"So tense all of a sudden," he rumbled in my ear with a deep, sleepy voice, but it was the warm, wet, teeth-dragging kiss to my shoulder that had my eyes rolling into the back of my head. He was not helping my insatiable situation. At all. "It's too damn early to be this tense, love..."
I bit down on my bottom lip to stop my whimper when his thumb brushed over my peaked nipple at the same time another kiss met my skin – this time, closer to my ear. Edward's hips shifted under the covers, pressing his very-prominent erection against my ass, but it was his deep moan when I arched against him that practically had me begging for him.
"Tell me," he commanded, rolling me completely onto my stomach and dragging his fingers down my arms so that his hands could massage down my back. "Was last night too soon, baby?" he asked, placing a kiss to each of my shoulder blades as his thumbs worked the muscles down my spine.
"No," I sighed, my body practically shaking with the want for him; I felt like a cat in heat – primed and ready for him.
A moan finally escaped my mouth as his tongue swirled over my ribs and down to the small of my back.
"Should I stop, then?" he asked, slithering down my body just a bit in order to cup both my ass cheeks.
I shook my head, finally glancing over my shoulder and meeting his gaze. "No," I breathed, locking eyes with him.
I'd thought he'd looked like he'd wanted to eat me alive last night, but nothing compared to the look in his eyes right then. His hair was everywhere – the very definition of sex hair – and his crooked smirk curled up at the corner of his mouth. His face was covered in two-day-old stubble, his eyes were dark and filled with a deadly gleam, and his hands never stopped touching, caressing.
"What were you thinking about, love?" he asked, his eyes still locked with mine as he bent to press an open-mouthed kiss to a spot just above my bottom.
"I don't remember." I moaned the half-truth because Edward had a tendency to make me forget my very name, everything else be damned.
"Good," he grunted, crawling up my body so that his mouth was by my ear. "God, I fucking want you so badly right now," he purred, suckling my earlobe at the same time his hand slipped between my legs. "Mmm, and I'm not the only one feeling...needy this morning," he crooned, smiling against the shell of my ear before licking it teasingly.
His hand palmed me possessively, his fingers touched everywhere but where I wanted him the most, and I found my hips trying to raise up to meet him, to guide him to the right spot.
"I can help with this, baby..." he teased again, still avoiding where I wanted his fingers – or any part of him, really – the most.
"Edward," I growled, unable to take it any longer. "Stop fucking teasing, please..."
"It seems I will get to fuck you before the sun rises," he mused aloud, a dark chuckle escaping him.
"Edward," I pleaded again, looking back over my shoulder.
He moved back slightly, one hand weaving into my hair and the other bending my leg out to the side. Wrenching my head to the side by my hair, he pressed every inch of his body against mine, and I could feel him hard and ready between my legs as he braced an arm by my shoulder, kissing me senseless.
"Tell me to stop, Bella," he grunted in my ear after tearing away from my mouth.
"I can't," I panted, squeezing my eyes shut. "Fuck me, Edward..."
Edward exhaled sharply, driving into me with a sudden thrust of his hips, and we both cried out into the early morning darkness.
"Fuck, yes," he hissed into my neck, once again nipping lightly at my flesh with his teeth.
It was rough, deliciously sweaty, and all-consuming. It was two bodies acting completely on instinct, and it wasn't long before I was close – really close – because the feel of Edward filling me over and over, the sound of skin against skin, and taste of his deep, wet kisses every time he pulled my hair back was pushing me closer and closer to the edge; I couldn't stop myself from falling over, despite how much I wanted all those things to last.
"Holy fuck," I gasped, my head falling to the pillow as we both came with a fierceness I wasn't sure either of us was prepared for.
Edward's sweaty forehead fell to my shoulder, his breathing ragged as he panted, "Oh yeah...good morning, love..."
I snorted into a laugh that I couldn't stop, rolling my eyes as he joined me. I rolled in his embrace, wincing when we separated – not from discomfort, but from the loss of being connected to him.
He reached up with gentle fingers, brushed a lock of hair from my face, and leaned down to kiss me sweetly.
I smirked up at him, chuckling, "Good morning to you, too."
"Come, love," Edward ordered with a sweet smile, offering me his hand and leading me out his front door. "I want to show you something."
"'Kay," I agreed, taking his hand and following him out to his shed. As we walked, I thought back to the last few hours.
We'd fallen asleep for another few hours but had woken up absolutely famished. We'd showered, dressed, and made breakfast together, which had almost resulted in the christening of Edward's kitchen counters because he'd thought it would be hilarious to make French toast, only to slam a bottle of maple syrup down on the counter. It had been a challenge, with his eyebrow raised and a wicked smirk on his face, but he hadn't been able to fight his smile when I'd exploded into laughter.
His grin had fallen when I'd picked up the bottle to tease him by pouring it slowly over my French toast, licking my own finger with a moan, just to lock eyes with his. He'd licked his own lips, his gaze falling to my mouth as he'd watched me lick my finger clean.
The ping of an incoming email had broken our gazes, making us both jump. It had been Carlisle, saying that he would be there soon, that he was leaving Seattle then. The reminder of reality had been like a slap in the face for both Edward and me. We'd been almost lost in a haze of sex, love, and sweat for almost twelve hours, and Carlisle's email had brought us back to the truth.
We weren't finished with what we had to do. We weren't out of the woods. If anything, we were in more danger than ever, so we'd eaten our food in silence.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when we walked past the garage. Edward tugged his keys out of his pocket once we neared what I thought was a brush pile, but when I really took a good look at it, I could see that it was a tarp with limbs and leaves attached to it. Edward unlocked a padlock that was hooked to a cable, giving the thing a tug. It zipped cleanly through the eyes of two tarps, causing the cover to fall away. My eyes widened at the sight in front of me.
The whole time, Edward's helicopter had been sitting hidden in plain sight. As he pulled the cover away, dropping it to the grass, my mouth fell open. I don't know what I had pictured in my head, but it wasn't what was currently in front of me.
The front half of the helicopter was blue, the back part, white. It sat on a fairly large slab of concrete, and it looked fast and expensive, and, Lord help
"Whoa," I breathed, walking around it, carefully reaching out to trail my fingers down its length.
"W-We may n-need to f-fly back to Alaska, B-Bella," he sputtered, running a hand through his hair and then along his neck nervously.
"Oh?" I asked, looking from him, back to the helicopter, and then back to him. "You think so?"
"We've stayed away longer than I expected to, and my dad suggested that we leave my car here and take the chopper..." He shrugged, tugging the tarp out of the way.
I grinned, but he wasn't looking at me because he was nervous for some reason. "Well, that will get us back fast," I said, walking to him. "So...I get to see you fly?"
His head spun around, his face a little shocked. He nodded slowly, not saying anything else.
"Mmm, that's...really hot," I chuckled, cupping his face.
He fought his smile, but he couldn't stop his eye roll. "Just...grab that other tarp, love. I need to make sure she's ready, if we're gonna take her."
"Oh, she's a she, is she?" I giggled, dodging his grasping hands as I ran to the other side to pull away the other side of the cover. "You sound like me and my damn Mustang," I muttered, smiling when he chuckled.
It didn't take long for him to run whatever tests he needed to make sure she was ready to go, if that was what his dad wanted. Seeing him sit down in the pilot seat was almost too much for me to look at because he looked confident, sexy, and capable as he flipped switches and checked gauges. He looked relaxed in the seat, wearing dark jeans and a gray T-shirt. When he finally hopped down to the ground, it was all I could do not to kiss him senseless, but he had something else to show me.
After closing the door, he grabbed my hand and walked us around to his garage, which really was his wood shop. He took his keys out again, unlocking the door and raising it up over his head. I looked around the garage and then back to Edward's pensive face.
This was the real Edward. The Edward that didn't want to fight, didn't want to see people get hurt anymore, didn't want to shed any more blood than he had to. This was the place Edward came to, to completely lose himself in something he loved to do.
Lining the back wall was a work bench covered in tools, and standing in the center was an unfinished bar height table that had this cool storage thing underneath it. The chairs were already done and lined up like good little soldiers along the empty far wall; they were already stained a deep walnut finish.
I reached out, gliding my fingers over the surface of the unfinished table. It was smooth, sanded, but dusty.
I brushed off my hand, looking up at him.
He swallowed thickly. "I had to stop what I was doing with that one. There was this girl missing..." he murmured, smirking when I smiled up at him.
"You'll finish it, though?" I verified, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yes, Bella," he chuckled.
"This..." I started, pointing around the room, "and those birdhouses...that's more than just shop class in a freaking public school, Edward."
He laughed, shrugging and pulling me to him. "You're right. I did take a class from this old man in California about a year ago. The birdhouses...those were kits that I painted the way I wanted them to look. They were the reason I took shop to begin with," he explained, kissing the top of my head and gesturing to a shelf over in the corner. "Those have taught me a lot..."
The shelf was filled with books – all "how to" books – but for a moment, I wondered how much of his hobby was learned and how much was just pure talent, just one of those things people were born to do.
A beeping sound started coming from one of the cabinets over the work bench, and Edward let go of me to walk to it. He opened the cabinet door to reveal a few CCTV screens. I recognized Carlisle's BMW instantly.
"My dad," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
I was not prepared for the emotions of seeing Carlisle. Not at all. I wasn't prepared for the flash of what had been shown on TV – a bullet through his shoulder as he tried to protect my father; the second bullet had hit Charlie anyway. I wasn't prepared to see him step out gracefully from his car, his arm wrapped in a sling.
I sat down hard in one of Edward's chairs, barely focusing on Edward greeting his dad, asking him if he was okay. I was shockingly jealous for just a split second, but it wasn't fair of me. He could just as easily have lost his father that day. The bullet could've been six inches the other way and taken Carlisle. I felt so very guilty because in the time that he'd been taking care of me, I'd come to truly love Carlisle, and that went all the way back to the day he'd helped me open Gravity.
"Bella?" I heard Carlisle call me, and I looked up into his face.
He was shattered and sick with guilt. He looked heartbroken and weary. His skin still looked a little ashen, from what I could guess was blood loss and pain. His normal smart, sharp eyes were liquid, soft, and slightly afraid.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, cupping my face, and all I could do was nod, my tears threatening to fall. "I'm so sorry...I tried..."
"I know," I said with another nod, unable to look into his stricken face.
The dam burst on my emotions when he pulled me into a one-armed hug. He smelled like a dad – not quite the Old Spice and tobacco smell of my own father, but it was so close that it hurt my heart to its very core.
"Are you okay?" I finally managed, pulling back to eye his sling and then back up to his face and swiping at my tears with the back of my hand.
"I'm fine. I've had worse," he said simply with a shrug, and he sounded so much like his son that I couldn't help the small smile and a nod of acceptance. He cupped my face again, kissing the top of my head. "I'd like to look at the things he...left for you, if that's okay."
I took a deep breath, finally relaxing when Edward's hand caressed the back of my neck. I nodded, saying, "Yeah, okay. I'm sorry we left. I just...I had to go..."
"I understand, Bella," Carlisle sighed, stepping back when I slid from the stool. "I would've done the same thing."
We made our way back into the house, spreading everything we had out in front of Carlisle on the kitchen counter. He read my father's letter, his head shaking back and forth, as if in denial, as he read every word – twice. He looked over the photos, the police report, and the rest of the things that had been inside the box that was left in my tree house, finally taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Why didn't he tell me this shit?" he growled softly.
"Maybe because you would have killed King sooner for him...out of loyalty, and he didn't want that?" Edward suggested from the other side of the counter, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned closer. "It sounds like he wanted revenge of some sort but that he was also protecting Bella. I don't think he ever wanted her to remember...if she didn't have to."
"Do you remember?" Carlisle asked, his head spinning to face me.
"Yes, but not until a few days ago," I said softly, nodding as I pulled the police report toward me. "It was King. He broke the door down, made me leave the room..." My breath caught in my throat, but I recovered quickly, gazing back down at the report in front of me.
"The thing I don't get..." Edward started, his finger jamming down onto the stack of pictures of my mother. "I don't get what Charlie's saying about DNA. There's nothing in that box that could help us with that. I mean, it's just papers and this shit," he grunted, fiddling with the key, lighter, and handkerchief that had been in the manila envelope along with everything else.
Carlisle studied the letter again, frowning, and then looked over the contents of the box one more time. He picked up the key, spinning it around between his thumb and forefinger, holding it up to me.
"Do you recognize this?" he asked, laying it in my hand.
"No," I sighed, "but that doesn't mean anything. I know he has a safe at the house. I know he has a locked cabinet and drawer in his desk at the office. There's no telling how many safety deposit boxes he had..." I trailed off because as we all knew, my father was very wealthy.
Carlisle took another deep breath but closed my hand over the key. "Keep it...for now. I'm not sure what to do with it right this second. Guard it with your life, though, Bells. It may be the end of all of this shit." He shook his head, fighting a smile. "Charlie sure was a cryptic bastard."
We all chuckled because I'd said the same thing when we were in the tree house.
"We have a problem, sweetheart," Carlisle began, turning in the stool next to mine to face me completely. "Benny says they'll release King if the state can't prove their case. And without Charlie, there's hardly a case, except for his recordings...and they may be thrown out because the defense is screaming about it. I think King suspects you could remember all along, and Charlie has kept you quiet for all these years about what happened the night your mother was killed. I think that he targeted Charlie from the get go. And I think that King was using Billy Black to keep tabs on Charlie for fucking years."
"Right," I agreed, nodding slowly. "But...this makes me now the prime target...with you next, Carlisle."
"Exactly," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "We thought the trial would be over after Charlie's testimony and that King would end up in prison, where..."
"I know about Sam," I growled. "That seems too easy for King."
"Sam is...deadly," Carlisle said with a smirk. "He wouldn't be so kind as to just stab him. He would make him suffer because that's what he does..."
I snorted because, again, father sounded just like son. "So what now?"
"I want you two to get your asses back to Kate's," he said, glancing between me and Edward. "I want you to fly there because we never know if the chopper may come in handy, and I want it at the ready."
"Sir," Edward grunted with a nod. "Kate's fuel tanks are full, so we should be good there..."
"Excellent," his father agreed. "I know I can't stop you, so have your girls get to work on these things." He waved a hand at counter. "Especially that key. I have to go back to Seattle before I can join you."
"No!" I growled, grabbing his uninjured arm at the sleeve because I couldn't bear it if I lost him, too. "You're gonna get fucking killed!"
"I'm with her," Edward snapped. "You need to come with us, Dad."
"I will join you, but I think it's time to pay a visit to Billy Black before I do," he stated, his voice not-so-nice. In fact, it sounded like he meant to do more than just talk. "And I need to meet with Benny before I do. They'll put a wire on me. They want to get this done, just in case King gets released, because if he goes free, we may all have a problem. He'll rally his men around him, and it will be an all-out war on us. He may only have a few left, but Miller is still out there."
I grimaced, shaking my head. "All the more reason for you to come with us, Carlisle. Please!"
He sighed, shaking his head. "I promised Charlie that I would stick by you through this whole thing, but that means...ending it." He growled those last two words, and I knew there was no changing his mind. "I also want to know if Benny thinks you should come forward."
"Absolutely fucking not!" Edward growled. "I can't watch her if the Feds take her into custody. She'll get killed! Not a chance in fucking hell!"
Edward looked like he wanted to punch his father at that last suggestion, and I got up from the stool to walk to him. There wasn't anything that could separate me from Edward now, and he needed to know that.
"Look at me," I snapped, grabbing his face to make him turn to me, but he fought me as he glared at Carlisle. "Edward," I said softly, and he finally turned his fiery eyes to mine. "They can't make me do anything."
He seethed for a minute more but finally nodded at me, relaxing just a bit as he stared down at me, his eyes softening a bit.
"Bella, you've witnessed too much," Carlisle noted, shaking his head sadly. "Miller, King..." He paused, almost like he was thinking about something, but he said nothing more on the subject. He simply turned to us with a resolved expression. "Get back to Alaska. I'll join you soon. And let me know what you come up with as far as that key goes." He held up his hand when Edward and I started to protest again. "I promise to be careful. Please, just do as I say..."
We both nodded, but I could tell neither of us liked watching him walk back to the car. We spent the next couple of hours closing up Edward's home. We packed, locked down the garage and Edward's car, and then loaded up the helicopter. And of all the places we'd been, of all the houses I'd seen since being on the run, I was the most upset watching Edward lock his front door after setting the alarm because that house felt like home.
Edward lifted me into the co-pilot seat in silence, buckling me in. He climbed in on the other side, handing over a headset to put on. Before I could put it on, he stopped me, his brow furrowed as he swallowed thickly.
"Wh-When this sh-shit is o-over, love, you are coming home...with me," he started with a nervous stutter but ended in his commanding voice, and I smiled up at him because that was the pure sound of my Edward – a paradox of shy but in control.
"I planned on it, Edward," I told him, and he leaned in quickly, kissing me deeply. It was over too soon.
He smiled sweetly, nodding once, and put his headset on, gesturing that I should do the same. The chopper started with a sound of pure power and noise, and the ground slowly disappeared from underneath us as we lifted off.


Jenny said...

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm... Yay for them! :D

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