Wednesday, June 13, 2012 | By: Drotuno

Coming Home Chapter 14 - Edward

~oOo~

From: EAMasen
To: Bella Swan
Date Sent: Wed, Apr 21, 2010 at 6:34 P.M.
Date Received: Wed, Apr 21, 2010 at 6:34 A.M.
Subject: Easy there, tiger...

Bella,

Trust me when I tell you that while I appreciate your anger against Tanya, it's not necessary. I can fight my own battles with her, though really, I just want to forget all about it. It's done.

Perhaps I always knew that joining the Army would be the end for us, and yet, I can't seem to feel sad about any of it. Betrayed, yes, but heartbroken, no. You remember that feeling when you were a kid when you found out that Santa Claus wasn't real? Yeah, it's kind of like that. Damn, it was all a lie, but now everything makes sense. There were reasons that my presents were exactly what I told my parents, not the big fat guy in the red suit at the department store. Well...there were reasons that I wasn't all that upset that I couldn't attend Harvard with Tanya. Something was trying to tell me not to, things that had nothing to do with the death of my parents. Does that make sense? And if I feel that way now, it must mean that what I felt for her was...well, not much.

Does that make ME a bad person? If it does, then we'll just be bad together, hmm?

Those aren't flaws, Bella... Those are personality traits. So what if you're loud and exuberant about a movie or a book? It just means you're passionate. Everyone has a little clutter in their lives, so the magazines don't count. The music thing is completely understandable...I do the very same thing when I'm either writing or trying to learn a new song. And for the last several decades, the use of the English language has steadily declined, spiraling into something that doesn't even make sense. You are a teacher, so I'd worry if you didn't want things perfect. However, the unmade bed... That wouldn't fly in the Army, but when I'm home, I like my bed to be an open invitation, whether for sleep or for...other things.

Hmm, perhaps your flaws are hidden... I'm still on a mission to discover them.

20 questions? I guess I'll start by answering yours first. Morning or night person? Here, I have to be both because I have no choice. I have to be ready at a second's notice, should something happen. There are times when I'm up for days. Mainly, I'm a morning person because in basic training, they wake you up before the sun rises. And absolutely, I need coffee to even think about being a normal human being, or at least someone tolerable to be around. LOL

My question to you is this... What scares you the most? I've been here several months, and I have at least six more to go...and I'm afraid I won't see the end of it. In front of my men, I have to think on my feet, stay in control, and remain calm. At all times. I'm afraid of failing them, Bella, afraid of not getting out of here. I can't tell them that, or they'll lose their faith in me, because fear can cause people to make terrible mistakes. I'm telling you, because Kandahar is looking like a for-sure thing, and I hate the thought of losing another Carlos, of being unable to write to you, and getting my men in and out of there safely. I also hate that you worry for me, but then...I don't.

Another question... If you could have anything you wanted...right now...what would you want? For me, it would be a deep dish, Chicago pizza. Damn, I miss it. Thick and cheesy with everything but peppers. Follow that with cold beer, and I'd be in heaven. I think it's the simple shit I miss over here. I'm pretty sure that's not all I'd want...only the first thing that comes to mind. Trust me, there are so many things I haven't had since being shipped out, but most thoughts or needs can be ignored, especially when I'm surrounded by smelly men and women, all wearing the same damn thing. **laugh**

You think I'm sexy? LOL You haven't heard me talk yet. What if I sound like Andy Rooney, all nasally and shit? Or Larry the Cable Guy...you know, Tow Mater? Thank you for saying I'm all those things, Bella. Please, feel free to keep me "in check." I have a feeling you could do it, considering that sexy temper of yours. I'll try not to let the compliments go to my head, but believe me, they are right back at you. As beautiful as you are, I can imagine that your dance card is always filled. If it makes you feel any better, ever since your first letter, I find myself smiling more. It seems that the "rare moments" are becoming more frequent...at least that's what Jazz and Emmett tell me.

I guess you'll be up for work soon, so I hope you have a great day...

Edward

P.S. I can't say that a parachute hangar would be my favorite place to make love...movie glamor or not. Perhaps it's too public of a place for me, due to the fact that just about anyone could walk in. I prefer plenty of privacy and plenty of time...you know, without the possibility of interruption. ;)

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