Wednesday, July 11, 2012 | By: Drotuno

Coming Home Chapter 76 - Edward


From: EAMasen
To: Bella Swan
Date Sent: Mon, June 07, 2010 at 11:34 A.M.
Date Received: Mon, June 07, 2010 at 8:34 A.M.
Subject: I know I'm not alone anymore...

My sweet Bella...

What I want more than anything is to come home to you. Your songs were perfect and exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I added them to my iPod before my run. Despite everything from our phone call last night, I woke up still needing more of you...more talking, more just...everything.

I understand all that you said about the feeling of just drifting. I felt that way as I took care of my parents and through my relationship with Tanya. There was no feeling of solidity. Nothing seemed real. I can't say that I regret any of it, because I was glad to have the time I did with my parents. I can't even regret Tanya because toward the end of my time in Chicago, she was leaving for Harvard. We were already over, really. What I find most interesting... Had I not joined the Army, which led to my breaking up with Tanya, I would not have found you, Bella. What I feel for you is real, and that is the only thing that keeps me going.

What I realized last night – and it's not the first time – was that everything about you and me feels so right. I've never opened up to someone like I have with you. Ever. I've never laughed as much or worried as much, because I do worry, sweetheart. I worry that I can't be there if you truly needed me, or that you'll lose patience before this is all over, or that I'll wake up and this will all have been just a dream. Nothing matters to me but you. Nothing. Before you, I was alone and knew it. Love, you've given me more than I could possibly explain. Not only have you given me your heart, but you've given me friends and a feeling of family. A true feeling of just belonging.

Beautiful, I told you once that I can't find any flaws on you. And I still can't. I don't mean that you're perfect, because believe me, no one really is. What you are is perfect for me. You make me laugh, you keep me focused, and you ground me in a way that no one has ever been able to do. I love you more than I can possibly put into words or even begin to show you, but I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life trying.

I'm waiting for my laundry to finish and the guys to get up, and then we're going down to the base to meet my squad for a brief orientation. I'll be away from my computer, but I'll have my phone on me.

Speaking of laundry, I believe I owe you some answers, don't I? Boxers or briefs? How about boxer-briefs? Although, I like regular boxers, too. And Isabella, I'm telling you... Your great debate over panties is OVER. None when I get to you. Understand me? **grin**

And my birthday? Christ, Bella, if I can't have you wrapped in nothing but a bow, then what's the point of celebrating? Hmm? But I'll settle for some cookies, or maybe this time, you could send me a cake. LOL Honestly, sweetheart. I don't need anything. I'm as happy as I've ever been. Come October, I won't be able to hide my fucking smile.

My question to you, my love, is this... I've asked you before about things you didn't like about yourself, but now I want to know what you do like about yourself. I know I have to give you an answer as well, but I honestly don't give my looks that much thought. They're just looks. If I had to pick, I'd say my eyes because they're the same color as my mother's. Mentally, I'm pretty proud of my inner strength. I could've given up many times in my life, but I didn't, and I'm really glad I didn't because had I just given up or given in...I'd be living in Boston right now.

The guys are awake now, so I guess I better get going. I love you so much, Bella. There hasn't been a day that's gone by since your first letter that I haven't had a fucking smile on my face. I thank you for that, beautiful.

Forever yours,



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